Ultrasound Update

I got the results of the ultrasound today. Everything looked great and measured good, except a kidney on the baby was slightly dilated. The nurse tried to assure me that its a very common thing and usually corrects itself as the pregnancy progresses. I'll just have to go back in a couple months for another ultrasound. So hopefully this is an issue what will correct itself. Just another thing for me to worry about.

ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!

She was perfect, measured 21 weeks 1 day! Everything looked perfect! She was really wiggly, and if she wasnt wiggling around she was curled up in a tight ball. At one point she was pedaling her legs like she was riding a bicycle!

Thats all I have time for now, but to answer everyones questions, yes we have her first name picked out- its been picked out for many years. And no we arent telling anyone the name until she is born, so dont ask! ;)

1 more day!

One more day until our big ultrasound, and i'm really excited!!!!!! I've been feeling less anxious lately, and I think its because I am feeling the baby moving alot more now. I think i've felt it every day for close to 2 weeks now, which is a huge relief. I still have my moments though. I woke up the other morning, and instantly felt horribly anxious (for no apparent reason.) Luckily the baby did a ton of moving around that day, so that helped put my mind at ease, as well as a listen on the doppler.

Things are really progressing. My belly is really starting to poke out, and its getting firm too rather than just fatty. I'm afraid i'm going to be GINORMOUS by the time I have the baby! I'm still getting nauseated occasionally, especially in the mornings after I eat cereal for breakfast.
I finally allowed myself to look at some baby stuff at the store the other day. It was the first time i've done that, i've been too afraid of jinxing myself.

My shots are going good... as good as a shot can be! ;) Derek is doing a really good job, and the last one he did I barely felt, although we both dread wednesday nights which is when I get the shots.

We bought Jadon a Big Brother book at Costco the other day. He sits very attentively through the book every time we read it. I hope he is understanding a tiny bit about whats going on, though i'm not holding my breath. We told him long ago that mommy has a baby in her belly, and now every morning he says "Listen to baby?" And we go have a listen with the doppler, then we listen to Jadon's heart, and then mommy's heart, and on weekends we listen to daddy's heart too. And Jadon sometimes lays his head on my belly to see if he can hear the baby, and he also talks to my belly saying "hi baby" and waves at it. I've also been explaining to him that the baby will be sharing his room with him, and his toys. I'm hoping that talking alot about the baby will help him transition better once the baby comes, and it wont be such a huge shock to him.

Well, not much going on here. We've been having alot of nice weather lately, so Jadon and I try to spend as much time outside as possible during the week. I'm SOOOOOOOO thankful for the good weather! I was getting to the point where I thought that Jadon and I were both going to lose our minds if we had to stay inside another day!

Well, I need to go get ready to go to bed. I need to try to get a good nights sleep tonight because I doubt that Monday night i'll do much sleeping.... too many excited nerves!! ;) Next time I post, i'll probably be announcing our baby's gender!

The coast

We decided to go to the coast this weekend since it was going to be a nice sunny weekend. The forecast was for 80ish here in Albany, and 65ish in Newport.

First stop we made was at the Hatfield Marine Science Center. Its free and we thought Jadon might enjoy looking at the fish and sea creatures.

Pointing at Nemo

Touching the Anemone

Looking at a water exhibit with daddy

Eyeballing a crab

After that we headed to the beach for some fun in the sand. It was beautiful and sunny, but windy and the wind was a bit nippy!

We saw groups of people on horses a couple times.

Stomping on the castles that daddy made.

A rare picture of me and Jadon. My "hilarious" husband said "Look Jadon, its the first picture of you and mommy!" I prefer to stay behind the camera.

He pulled this wagon around for a very long time!!

After that we decided to head for town and find somewhere to eat dinner, and ended up stopping at the lighthouse.

We froze our butts of at the lighthouse, it was SOOOOO windy, and freezing cold!!!!!!!

In case anyones interested, we ate dinner at Sizzler. Not our first choice, but I had to pee sooooo bad at that point I really didnt care where we ate. Apparently this baby enjoys laying on my bladder and using it as a drum. ;)

19 weeks!

We made it to 19 weeks! I can hardly believe it! Never thought id make it this far again and i'm so grateful! I am savoring every bit of movement I feel from this baby, its such a blessing! Everytime I feel a kick I almost cry. I have so much more appreciation for those little kicks than I did with Jadon. Soon Derek and Jadon will be able to feel them as well, and I cant wait for that!!!

I think its obvious now that i'm pregnant. My mom made the comment to me in church on sunday "oh, you're really starting to poke out there!" Its weird, I dont feel like I look pregnant until I see a picture. It was the same with Jadon too. Never felt like I looked as big as I did until I'd see my picture and realize just how enormous I was!

With that said, I took my picture in the mirror last week. I want Derek to get pictures of me like he did with Jadon, but timing is tough. The only time we have to do it is in the evenings, and I always forget until its almost time for bed, and by then I dont have any makeup on and I do not get my picture taken without makeup on. Its just not a pretty sight.

Derek and I are taking golf lessons. Its just 5 classes, and we have 2 more left. This time of year Derek always starts talking about golfing alot, but this year he hasnt shut up about it. The parks and rec offers beginner classes and advanced classes. Derek already took golf lessons once before at LBCC, so he does know a bit about golf. I on the other hand know nothing, yet I really enjoy going golfing with Derek, however I hate feeling like a moron when I play. We thought we'd take the class together, and we had to do it asap before I get to be too big. We are having alot of fun, and I really enjoy it alot now that I know how to hit the ball correctly! Not to mention, its good exersize hitting balls over and over and over again! We were pretty sore last week! But then again, we arent in the best of shape! ;)

I had a WONDERFUL mothers day! We celebrated my mothers day on Saturday since we'd be busy all day Sunday, and all I really wanted was to have a nice relaxing day with my hubby and Jadon. I have the sweetest husband in the world. He wouldnt let me lift a finger for anything. I didnt touch a dirty dish, I didnt make any meals, I didnt change 1 diaper!! He did let me do laundry though since I dont let him do that. ;) We went to Old Navy and I bought 2 pairs of maternity pants that turn into capri's. Our Old Navy had a TINY selection, so I was really disappointed. Then we went to Target and got Jadon some big boy sheets and comforter for his new big boy bed.

After that, Derek told me to decide where I wanted to eat lunch, and I thought McGraths sounded good, and we hadnt had it for a long time. Mmmm.... it was goooooood!

We also spent alot of time outside, since it was gorgeous out! After dinner we went to Home Depot for some yard stuff. Any day where I get to go to Home Depot is a good day in my book! I dont know why I love going there so much. I think its because I love anything that has to do with home improvement. I usually just have to dream about projects (and I have a million projects dancing around in my head!!!) since it does cost money to do home improvement projects.

Nothing much going on. Jadon's doing well sleeping in his toddler bed now. We had a few days that werent good, but we quickly got that taken care of. I'm sure he'll test us again eventually. He's definately 2 now, and has not been listening to us very well lately. He's climbing on EVERYTHING, getting into EVERYTHING, and can open (and lock) all the doors now, and is constantly trying to make an escape out the back door, and he's lightening fast!!! One morning at 7am, he managed to get by me and was outside in nothing but a diaper and socks and it was only 40 degrees out. I had to drag him back into the house, and he was squealing at the top of his lungs. It happens alot when we try to bring him inside when he doesnt want to come inside. Good morning neighbors!

This darn worry!

So I started worrying about the fact that I am measuring so big because I know it can be indicative of a problem, ie- gestational diabetes, problem with the baby, etc. Well I decided to look in my journal from when I was pregnant with Jadon. It turns out, when I was 20 weeks with him, I measured 24 weeks. I thought that I didnt start measuring so much bigger until the end, but not so! So, maybe my baby's just have a huge growth spurt around this time? At 27 weeks, my uterus measured right on target again, but then after that Jadon had another growth spurt and I measured 2 weeks ahead again.
We'll see what the ultrasound shows in a few weeks! As usual, i'll pray for the best, but prepare for the worst. It stinks that I cant just sit back and enjoy this ride the same way I could with Jadon. I'm glad I was able to experience that innocent bliss at least once though!

Today's OB Appt

Well, it went terrific! Heartbeat was again a nice strong 160... but I knew it would be since i've been listening in to it for the last 3 weeks! ;)
I'm already measuring big. I'm measuring 23 weeks, but i'm only a little over 18 weeks. The doctor said that the baby is just growing like a weed. I almost cried when she said that. I measured big with Jadon too, but not this early on.

Our big ultrasound is scheduled in a few weeks! I'm so excited/nervous/anxious for that day to come!

Derek gave me my 3rd progesterone injection on Wednesday. He did a great job for it being his first time giving anyone a shot! It stung and burned quite a bit, but after talking with the doctor today, its probably because he didnt insert the needle in far enough. That freaks me out because the needle is not very small! I have a slight bruise around the injection area, but thats common, and its actually not uncommon to get welts and sometimes even infections around the area. Hopefully THAT wont happen!!

I'm just so thankful that everything seems to be going well so far! I'm counting down the days until I hit 24 weeks, because at that point, if the baby is born it will have a chance of survival! And each week after that the chances of survival dramatically increase.

Toddler bed update

Well last night went perfectly. Jadon didnt get up once, and he slept all night and when he woke up in morning he even stayed in bed talking and playing with a stuffed animal that he sleeps with. I'm sure eventually he'll realize that he can get out of bed when he wants to in the morning. His nap today went fine as well, and he didnt get out of bed at all. I just have to say i'm so proud of him! I'm sure he'll be testing us at some point, but considering where we came from with his horrible sleeping in the past, the fact that he is doing so well is such a breath of fresh air!

Toddler Bed

Jadon has really started climbing lately, and figured out that he can climb things pretty good now. With that said, the other day he started trying to climb into his crib. Because of this, we decided it was time to try out the toddler bed. We wanted to get him out of the crib before he climbed out the first time because he is a clutz like his mom (thanks to my mom who I got my klutziness from) and i'm sure he would end up with a broken arm or something. I'm hoping he'll grow out of this clumsy faze and be super smooth and agile like his daddy.



So today we took one of his crib rails off and put up the toddler bed attachment. Jadon was so excited!!!! We told him he was such a big boy now! I was a little worried about how naptime would go. Surprisingly, he only got up once, and it didnt take him any longer than normal to go to sleep. I'm a little more worried about tonight though.



Here's a couple pictures of Jadon when we put him down for his nap. He was pretty excited. I tried to get one of him when we went in to wake him up, but he crawled out of the bed so fast, all I got was a picture of the back of him crawling out of the bed.

Daddy reading a book before nap

Laying in bed excited to be a big boy!

After nap, crawling out of bed

I was scolded by a 12 year old

Tonight I was doing a digging in the yard around my tree in the front yard. I'm planning on putting some stuff around it and had to clear some of the grass thats around the tree. Anyways, tonight a boy was walking by, id say he was probably about 11 or 12 years old. He asked me if I was digging up the tree, I said no, and he proceeds to tell me that its not good to dig up trees, its bad for the environment, and I should know better than that. ;)

Its amusing to me how kids these days are so much more aware of their environment than we were growing up. Kids are now being taught to be "green." When we were growing up, I never knew the word "recycle"... did they even do recycling back in the 80's???

Has it really been a week?

Wow, has it really been a week already since my last post?? That doesnt even seem possible!

Well, nothing new to report here. Been pretty slow around here. Yesterday Derek went with me to get my 2nd progesterone shot, and the nurse (who was smacking her gum... it was really annoying to me) showed Derek how to do the shots and gave us supplies to do it, and then marked me with 2 big purple "x's" (with a flesh pen so it wont wash off) where he is supposed to give me the shot. Then she shoved all the supplies into a white paper sack. Not very professional in my opinion, but then again, i'm not surprised since it IS the Corvallis Clinic afterall. So next wednesday Derek will give me the next shot... it will be interesting to see how it goes! I'll be impressed with him if he can do it... I dont think I could do it!

My next OB appointment is next friday, and im sooo eager because after that we get to schedule for the big ultrasound!! I've been having a little nausea occasionally still- almost always in the mornings after i eat breakfast, and an occasional bout of it at other times. I'm contemplating skipping breakfast all together!

1 down, 19 to go!

Shots that is... I started my progesterone shots yesterday. To my surprise, it was almost painless! I've heard such horror stories of how badly they hurt and burn and sting! Unfortunately the nurse informed me yesterday that every time I come in to get the injection, we get charged for it. So, Derek might be having to learn to give it to me anyways!

So I broke down and rented a doppler. Its only $25 a month for as long as I want to keep it, but I plan to only keep it for a month, until I start feeling the baby moving stronger and regularly. Its nice to be able to check the heartbeat anytime I am feeling a little worried. Since i've had it, I have felt soooo much less stressed about the pregnancy, and thats a good thing for both me and the baby!

Other than that, nothing much else going on. Its been pretty nice here lately, so Jadon and I have been trying to spend as much of our time outside as possible. Unfortunately its cooled down quite a bit this week, but at least its not raining!!!!!

Well we are supposed to have a beautiful weekend, so dont expect to hear anything on here from me for the weekend! I fully intend to spend every possible second outside! :) I bought some flowers this week, and can hardly wait to plant them!

I did want to share this little tidbit that Jadon said tonight. Derek was brushing Jadon's teeth in the living room, and I was in the kitchen putting a couple dishes in the dishwasher, and out of the blue Jadon says "mommy purdy".... I might also add that it was not prompted by his daddy either!

He just scored some major brownie points!!!!! ;)

15 weeks and counting

Well, nothing much new to report here. We had a fine Easter, of course it was a typical Oregon easter- rainy, windy, and overall just ugly outside. I didnt really get any pictures of Jadon... we had to do our Easter egg hunt indoors, and he didn't really get it that much. He just wanted to dump the eggs out of the basket, and didn't understand that he was supposed to carry the basket with him to each egg. But, he did have fun finding the eggs. The only pictures I got were a couple of him looking at the stuff we got him in his Easter basket, which was nothing much. We did get him a new train for his Thomas and Friends track that we got him for his birthday, so he was really excited about that.


This is the best picture I got of him. Derek was trying to get him to look up and smile.

Other than that, things have been pretty slow here the last couple of days, which is fine by me. I'm still being bothered by some pesky nausea, mostly in the mornings after breakfast, and in the evenings after Jadon goes to bed. Last night I didnt have any at all, and this morning wasn't too bad either, but all afternoon I was feeling it, and still am right now. Luckily its not bad like it used to be, but still annoying. I try not to complain too much about it though... but at this point its just getting old. Yesterday my friend Linda sent me an encouraging email in regards to the nausea hanging on, and here's what she said:
"I know with all the heartache you've had that you'd like to just enjoy beginning to feel the baby moving and watching your tummy grow but if you can just try to keep looking at this stage of nausea as God telling you...I heard your prayer for another child and I have answered it......"
Anyways, that was really encouraging to me yesterday, and she is right. I never thought id make it this far ever again in a pregnancy, so I am really ready to be able to enjoy it (as much as I possibly can through all the worrying.) On that note, I am pretty sure I felt the baby move shortly after my last post. It was so quick, and so subtle, that I just sat here for a second trying to see if it would happen again, and convince myself that I wasnt dreaming. I hadnt felt it again for a few days, and then last night I was laying on my back in bed watching TV, and I felt it again several times! Again it was so subtle, but since I was laying down and I was so still, it was very easy to feel. I cant wait to be able to feel that all the time! I'm so thankful to have made it this far and pray that everything continues to go smoothly!

Update on the update

I forgot to mention that when my doctor was listening to the baby's heartbeat with the doppler, the baby was doing quite a bit of moving around, and she had to keep following it. That made me feel good that the baby is in there being active. :) Hopefully i'll be able to feel the baby soon too! It could happen any time now!!

Also, I found a picture online of a fetus at 14 weeks... this is what our baby should look like right now:

Update

Sorry, I would have let you know how my appointment went sooner, but ended up getting a migraine Wednesday night, and all day Thursday and was confined to the couch all day thursday. Still have a bit of a headache, but its much better than yesterday, and i'm hoping that by tonight it will be gone, or at least mostly gone.

Anyways, my appointment went fine, and like all the other times, my worrying was for nothing. However, that still doesnt keep me from worrying.

So we heard the heartbeat again, and the rate was in the 150's again.... nice and strong. As I mentioned in my previous post, i was concerned that I didnt seem to be showing or my pants getting any tighter. She felt my uterus and it was measuring right where it should be, so even though I am not growing, my insides are. I did lose some weight in the first trimester, so that is most likely why my pants dont feel any tighter. She also told me that its not a bad thing that i'm not showing yet.... meaning, just enjoy it now, because it wont be long before i'm huge and uncomfortable.

So, I got to stop my progesterone suppositories a week ago, however now I get to start progesterone shots in 2 weeks. The shots are a higher dose of the hormone progesterone, and are meant to help prevent preterm labor. I have to do these once a week from weeks 16-36, and I have to do them because Jadon was born premature. Whatever it takes though!

I go back to the doctor again in 4 weeks, i'll be 18 weeks then, and after that at around 20 weeks i'll have my big ultrasound... which of course i'm already nervous for. I dont care if its a boy or a girl, i just worry that i'll go in and they'll find something fatally wrong with the baby. I'm so glad I didnt have these fears when I was pregnant with Jadon.

Just cant stop worrying

Well i'm 14 weeks today, and I thought maybe by now i'd start feeling a little less apprehensive about the pregnancy, but that doesnt seem to be the case.
I've started physically feeling better the last few days, which is great. However I worry that my pants dont seem to be getting tighter, and that I dont feel like i'm "growing" much, if at all. I thought with second (or more) babies you start showing much sooner? Even when I was pregnant with Jadon, I had mentioned in my journal that at 11 weeks my pants were beginning to get tight, although I didnt start wearing maternity clothes until 19 weeks.

I guess I just feel like everything has gone so well so far, that this is just too good to be true. I find myself feeling very apprehensive thinking about the future, or any farther than a few days out... like i'm going to jinx everything by letting myself get excited. The innocence is gone- I dont think I will ever be able to really "enjoy" being pregnant ever again, which is so unfortunate because I loved being pregnant with Jadon. But on the other hand, I know the things that can happen, I've read all the things that can go wrong at this point from articles, books, and real people who have experienced them, and I am glad I know so that I can be prepared should something like that happen to us.

One of my great, wise friends told me a month ago when I told her that I was still very skeptical about the prenancy, to not worry, because its out of my hands. That was really comforting to me, and I repeatedly reminded myself that over and over again throughout the rest of the first trimester. From the moment of conception, God had a plan for this little one, whether its being born healthy, or whether it never makes it that far. I have no absolutely no control over what will happen, nor do I have any idea what will happen, which I think is why its so hard to accept. I am a planner, and like to know well in advance what is going to happen in the coming weeks. It would be so nice to be able to peak into the future and know what the outcome will be. Unfortunately I cant do that, and I know its absolutely horrible, but I sometimes just assume that things wont end well with this and I start mentally preparing myself for the outcome, and the possibility that Jadon will be an only child.

I guess i'm just feeling anxious because I have my next appt. tomorrow morning, and its been a very long 3 weeks since my last one. And the GORGEOUS days we've had over the last few days have been taken over today by dreary, gray clouds, and its amazing just how much the weather can affect your mood and outlook.

Well I thought i'd post real quick while I'm eating breakfast. The next few days are looking to be very beautiful ones, so i'm really hoping that i'll feel well enough to play in the yard! Yesterday I felt pretty good, except all afternoon I was dizzy. We did go to Home Depot to pick up a few items, and while there I got a few flowers. Unfortunately its only April 5th, so not much is available yet. But i'm sooooo eager to get my hands in the dirt!!!!

If I eat anything thats slightly greasy, fattening, or very flavorful throughout the day, I end up with RAGING heartburn in the evenings. If this is how its going to be through the whole pregnancy, then i'm convinced I wont gain much weight since all I can eat is healthy, bland foods. Which is fine, I want to eat as healthy as possible, but Derek has now dubbed Fridays as Pizza Night since Jadon is able to understand more (ok, he asks for pizza at every meal). So this past friday Derek brought home some of those cheap Totinos pizza's, which I LOVE, but avoid at all costs when i'm not pregnant because they are loaded with fat and calories. I shared a pizza with Jadon, and that evening I was totally regretting eating it at all. I had horrible heartburn, and my stomach was not happy with me at all. I hate going to bed feeling miserable. Yes, I took a Zantac, which my OB said is ok to take during pregnancy. I can hardly choke down Tums anymore, and they dont always work the best.

Anyways, so we are going to be coloring eggs for Easter sometime in the next few days. Also going today to get Jadon's Easter basket put together. We're going to get him another little train for his Thomas the Train set that we bought him for his birthday. He'll be so excited!

We played with the playdoh again the other morning, and as always, Jadon was requesting snowmen. So, I made a large, multicolored snowman this time. Here is Jadon posing with this one:

Playdoh Tragedy

For Jadon's birthday, Derek and I bought him a Playdoh kit. Turned out to be a good gift- he requests to play with it just about every day, usually around meal time- either after breakfast or lunch, or while I'm trying to prepare dinner.

So this morning after breakfast he requested playdoh before I had even finished cleaning all the oatmeal off of him. I dont mind it, its actually pretty fun for adults too if you use your creativity! I told Derek one day that I dont know who is having more fun with the playdoh, me or Jadon!

Jadon especially likes it when I make snowmen out of the playdoh. This morning I told him i'd make a snow family, so I made a daddy with a top hat, a mommy with huge hair, and a baby. When I finished we had a "photo shoot" of the snow family. Jadon was just dying to get his little paws on them!

The Snow Family

Jadon eagerly awaiting to play with the snow family

Here I posed the snowfamily in front of Jadon and told him to wait until I took the picture before he touched them.... and I said to him "ok, say chee-" before I could even finish saying cheese and getting the picture snapped, he just couldnt take it anymore, and grabbed for them.

Within seconds he had the poor family completely ripped apart, and some of their body parts were seen scattered around the floor. Such a tragedy!

Home Improvement

Its always this time of year when I start thinking about projects to do around the house to improve it. I think its because I get antsy from being cooped up in the house all day.... and especially the last 2 months have been that way!

Usually its the yard I start thinking about, but there's so much I want to do to the yard I dont even know where to start. Plus there's the part where I have to convince my husband to let me do things. And this year we've got a little critter living underground who has decided to make our yard his permanent residence. The backyard is a mess and will need to be re-done thanks to that little guy. You can actually walk around and feel his tunnels because you sink into the yard. Anyways, so there's so much that needs to be done with the yard that I feel overwhelmed by it, and I'm never satisfied with how it looks.

So now i'm thinking about stuff that I want to do inside instead. Usually when we do something inside, I like it and am satisfied and dont need to change it. Basically the only thing we've done so far is the two upstairs bathrooms and the downstairs windows. One thing that i've been pondering doing for a few years now is the kitchen. I've been thinking about painting the cabinets white and then painting the walls a color other than the white that they currently are.... probably a light taupe/tan color or something? And then someday we'd like to have all of our trim and doors white (right now they are a fake oak looking color that I cant stand.)

Just curious what everyone thinks? Here's the kitchen right now: Wow, it really is small!!!!

Jadon's birthday party

So we had Jadon's birthday party March 14th, and everything went well- except that most of you decided not to show up. Thanks for that. (this does not include our family members that live in other states- you are all off the hook ;)

So, I want to say an extra big Thank You to everyone who did show up- Gramma Debbie, Gramma Karla, Grampa Byron, Daniel, Alayna, David, Jon, Adriana, Jenny and Ryan. Thank you so much for sharing the day with us!!

Here are a few pictures of the day:

Anyways, id write more but i'm not feeling well today. I had 2 days of almost no morning sickness but today its back again. It was the same way with Jadon about this time of the pregnancy... it would go away for a couple days, then come back for a couple, then go away for a couple, back for a couple, until 14.5 weeks it just stopped all together. Today i'm 12 weeks, so if i can just hold out for a tiny bit longer!

Pimples!

So, Jadon has recently learned the word "pimple" and is now saying it all the time, because the first time he said it we laughed, and this kid looooooooves to be laughed at. I think we can thank his dad for that....

Anyways, yesterday at dinner, we had grilled cheese sandwiches. Jadon ate all his sandwich, so I asked him what else he wanted. His answer: "Pimples!" (of course he sat there with a big grin waiting for me to laugh at him!) Who can resist him!? ;)

Surprise! I'm pregnant! And no, i'm not joking!

Yes, this was planned- less than a week in advance. ;) We were not going to try again until this summer, but then January rolled around, and I kept thinking about it, and prayed about it, and had a really, really good feeling about it, so we decided to try. I knew when I got myself into this that there was a very real possibility that I could miscarry again, and I am ok with that and prepared to deal with it. Not to mention, there was the possibility that I wouldnt even get pregnant anyways.... afterall, you only have like a 20% chance of becoming pregnant each month. (Just for the record, I have a 100% track record so far!)

Anyways, I tested positive 3 days before "Aunt Flo" was due. I tested again on the day she was due, and again it was positive. So I immediately called my OB, she saw me that same day, got me started on progesterone suppositories (yes, suppositories) and baby asprin. And she sent me for bloodwork to get my hormone levels tested, and they were all perfect. And she told me to come back in 3 weeks.

1st positive test

Second positive test

So, at just over 7 weeks, we went in again, had an ultrasound and got to see a little bean and a heartbeat. It was beating nice and strongly- somewhere in the 150's bpm. Again, I had bloodwork done, and all the numbers again came back perfectly! Since my doctor knew how apprehensive I was about the pregnancy, she was having me come back every 2 weeks, or even more frequently if I felt like I needed it.

First Ultrasound- 7ish weeks

So, at just over 9 weeks we went again, had another ultrasound and saw that the baby was much bigger and the heart was beating away still! No bloodwork done this time.

Second ultrasound- 9ish weeks

So, that brings us to today. Tomorrow (tuesday) we'll be about 11 weeks. Today we saw the doctor again, and this time the nurse tried to find a heartbeat with the doppler. At first she found a heartbeat, and it was really really slow for a fetus, so I was a bit worried. Then she said that she thought that was my heartbeat..... which made sense because my own heartbeat was beating the exact same. So she moved the doppler over a little and instantly found a rapidly beating little heart!! 160 bpm, which is the same as Jadon's was! The sound of a little tiny heartbeat is one of the best sounds ever.

Anyways, i've been horribly exhausted for most of the pregnancy- HORRIBLY exhausted. I've been nauseated since around 5.5 weeks, and it got really really bad around weeks 7 and 8. Since then its mellowed out, but is pretty consistent and is worse in the evenings after 8pm. Sometimes its so bad that I cant even brush my teeth at night. I've also been dealing with horrible heartburn and indigestion. And i've had several migraines as well. This pregnancy has been pretty similar to when I was pregnant with Jadon. Except with Jadon, the nausea was worse and the exhaustion wasnt as bad.

So, now you know why i've been "distant"- in real life, and in blogging life! Its just too exhausting to do much of anything- including blogging! :) Anyways, just a few more weeks and we'll be "free and clear".... which means absolutely nothing to me!

Happy Birthday Jadon!! We love you so much! Love Mommy & Daddy

3/13/09- 2 years

3/13/08- 1 year
3/14/07- 12 hours old

Jadon's birth story- very long!

So my mind has been on Jadon's upcoming birthday alot this week as I remember the events that took place two years ago when he came into this world. I dont know if I have ever written about his birth story before, so I thought id share it today.

It all began when he was 34 weeks and 2 days. I was on strict bedrest because 2 days prior I had lost my mucus plug, and my blood pressure was up. Derek came home from work and we had dinner, then Derek cleaned up the kitchen while I laid on the couch and chatted with him. At about 10pm I was laying on the couch talking with Derek, when all of the sudden it felt like something inside me popped. I moved a little to get comfortable and realized that the pop that I felt was my water breaking.

We called the doctor and she had us come right in to the ER where she examined me and determined that yes, my water had definately broken. They also hooked me up to a monitor to see if I was having any contractions. I wasnt. So, the plan was to start me on an IV and antibiotics, and keep in the hospital on bedrest, and then when I hit 35 weeks they would induce me.

So, for the next 4 days, I was stuck in the hospital bed, only allowed to get up to use the potty, and to take quick 5 minute showers. Time went by so slowly. Every 3 hours round the clock the nurses would come in and check my vitals and give me more antibiotics to keep any infections away. And every morning they'd hook me up to the monitor again to see if I was having any contractions, and to make sure that the baby was doing ok. I had lots of visitors, and Derek would come after work and stay until 10pm or so, and then he would go home just to sleep.

In the early morning hours on the day before my induction was to take place, I started getting some really bad cramps that I thought were really really bad gas pains. This made complete sense to me because the whole time I was in the hospital I had not had to go #2 once!!!! (sorry if thats too much info!) So, I figured I was just going to need to use the potty and i'd feel better. But, I never felt like I needed to go, so that never happened, and all that night that I was sleeping, I was having dreams that I was in labor, then I'd wake up with another bad cramp.

The next morning, I woke up starving, and ordered my breakfast. When it got there, I went to take a bite, and all of the sudden I felt ill. I thought that one of the nurses must have passed on a stomach bug to me or something. So I didnt eat. Then at lunch, the cafeteria called me to ask if I wanted to order lunch... I ordered, but didnt eat any of it. I dont remember having any of my "gas pains" that morning, and im guessing that I didnt have any because nothing ever showed up on my morning monitoring.

After that, things are a little fuzzy. The pains started up again at some point, and I know I ended up going #2 at some point that day, but that didnt help the pains. When Derek got off of work, he came up to see me... I think it was about 4:30pm. I told him I was having cramps, and I know I went to the bathroom again. Oddly enough, it never occured to me that I was having contractions!

Anyways, it was sometime during this that Derek summoned for the nurse and told her that I was having cramps that he thought were contractions. She asked how painful they were on a scale of 1-10, I said 7. She asked how frequent they were and how long they lasted... they were about every 3 minutes, and they lasted for well over a minute, so I felt like I hardly had time to recover from one when the next one would start. (How in the world did I think that these werent contractions!?!?!)

The on-call doctor showed up shortly thereafter and gave me an exam, and said I was dilated to 7 already, and they immediately wheeled me into labor and delivery and asked if I had thought about pain medications at all, to which I calmly said, "I want an epidural." It had been my plan from almost the beginning of the pregnancy to get an epidural. Right before the anesthesiologist got there, the contractions started getting REALLY intense. Its funny, I hate needles, but after being in the hospital those 4 days, I cant even remember how many different IV's they gave me, and how many blood draws I had, so by the time the anesthesiologist was inserting a big needle into my spine, I wasnt even worried about it hurting. Not to mention, the contractions were coming so intensely and frequently that I just wanted some relief. Those intense contractions are EXHAUSTING, and I give kudos to anyone who labors and gives birth without any pain medication!

Oh the sweet relief I felt when the epidural started working!! I felt like I suddenly had energy, and it was humorous to me when id see that I was having a contraction on the monitor, but couldnt feel a thing! Especially when they were really big contractions. The beauty of modern medicine! :)

About the time that the epidural started working, the doctor came and checked me again, and by then I was fully dilated. I started pushing at about 8pm, and Jadon was born at 8:53pm at 34 weeks and 6 days- 5lbs 6oz, 19inches. Derek was sobbing, and I didn't shed a tear. Its funny, we always imagined it would be me sobbing, and Derek would be fine. I think for me I was just sortof in shock. I wasnt expecting to be having a baby that day, and just the whole experience was kindof surreal. Anyways, they put Jadon on my belly as soon as he came out, and I know it sounds horrible, but he was covered in stuff, and for a split second I was thinking to myself "do they want me to touch him? he's all dirty!" Again, I blame it on shock.

After that, everything's kindof a blur. I remember after awhile they took Jadon away so that he could go to the NICU because his breathing was a little labored. Derek went with them, and suddenly I was left all alone in the room. The nurse brought me some food, and I ate a little, then got the shakes really bad. The nurse informed me that was a normal side effect of the epidural. As soon as my epidural had worn off, the nurse wanted me get up to go to the bathroom so she could make sure I was able to pee ok, and to help me clean up. After that she wheeled me to the NICU so that I could see my beautiful son. Poor little guy was hooked up to all kinds of monitors, and had an IV in his hand. :*( But he was sleeping peacefully.

Eventually they wanted me to try breast feeding him. Holy cow, let me tell you, breastfeeding was much harder than labor and delivery. I had no idea what I was doing, and all the nurses were telling me different things to do. I was so confused. It did take me and Jadon a GOOD 3 months to finally get breastfeeding down pat.

Jadon ended up staying in the NICU for 1 week, then we finally got to bring him home and after that we finally felt like a family. Unfortunately he had pesky jaundice and had to lay on a billy blanket for several weeks, which made it really hard for us to hold him and bond with him.

Anyways, thats the story of Jadon's birth. Its probably not as exciting to anyone else but me, but I look back at it all with great fondness. There's something very empowering and wonderful about giving birth, and I remember when I was sitting in the room all by myself right after i'd had Jadon, I remember thinking to myself "you just had a baby... you survived one of your biggest fears." I am a weenie when it comes to pain.... actually, let me rephrase that.... I am a weenie when I think about pain, but I really have a much higher pain tolerance than I give myself credit for.

I will be interested to see what I chose for pain relief when I deliver my next baby. But right now, I cant believe that my little man is going to be 2! I thought that his first year of life went by fast, but holy cow, the second year was much faster!!!! I remember last year on his birthday, I set my cell phone alarm to go off at 8:53pm so that I would know that exactly a year ago, I gave birth to my sweet little guy. Unfortunately he was already in bed asleep so I wasnt able to tell him "a year ago at this very moment, you were born!" Not that he would have understood anyways! ;)

If you read that whole thing, I am impressed! :)

Daddy cut Jadon's hair late last week... he actually did a pretty good job! Its hard to cut hair from a head that wont quit moving! I have been putting off cutting Jadon's hair because I knew it would be a huge task, and I knew if I cut Jadon's hair, id have to cut Derek's hair also, which I HATE doing. But Derek refuses to go anywhere to get his hair cut, he says they always screw up, and plus i'm free. So, Derek decided to cut Jadon's hair himself! Now if only he would cut his own hair too.... ;) So here's Jadon's haircut:

On Saturday we took Jadon to the lambing barns so he could see the baby lambs. It turned out to be a pretty good day to go, there were not many people there. Unfortunately it was really windy and freeeeeezing cold. Jadon enjoyed it though, and it was free. I've been wanting to go for awhile now.... I used to go with my mom when my siblings were little.

Sorry, I know how unexciting the pictures of the back of Jadon's head are, but I couldnt get him to look at me long enough for me to get pictures of his face! :)

Signs of life

I realize its been awhile since I last blogged. Its just been very slow around here, and not much to talk about. I'm anxiously awaiting daylight savings, and last night after we finished dinner the sun was just starting to go down, I was thinking that next week at this time, it will be an hour later.... so it would be 7pm instead of 6pm. This means that soon we'll be able to go for walks again in the evening... something Derek and I enjoy doing together, and of course Jadon loves being outside!

I've been noticing for several weeks now that my trees are all starting to get buds on them... and our rose bushes also are starting to show signs of life once again! Its this time of year when I long to be outside in the yard. Its also one of my favorite times of the year.... the rainy winter weather always leaves everything around here looking brown, saturated and dead, and I always feel like the yard looks like such a mess. So, to see little signs of life sprouting up all over reminds me that spring is on its way and this dreary season is slowly leaving!! And soon it will be time for me to be out in the yard getting dirty planting flowers again!! :)

Poopy!

Jadon went poopy in his potty today for the first time! It scared him when he saw it in there, so we'll see if he wants to sit on his potty again! ;)
He has been doing really good on his potty, and knows when he sits down on it now that he needs to go pee, so he gets right down to business, sometimes even pushing a few drops out.

We still have a long way to go though. He doesnt remember to tell us most of the time when he has to go potty, and most of the time we have to ask him if he wants to go sit down on his potty, to which he says "diaper? yes! Okaaaaay!" He says diaper because he wants to take it off to sit on the potty.

Its just cute because he gets soooo excited when he goes in his potty, probably because WE get really excited and give him tons of praise.

Spring Fever

I cant believe its been a week since I last posted! Nothing new going on here... its been pretty uneventful in our house, other than Jadon's sleeping issues (again.) He has been waking up twice during the night almost every night.... sometimes just once. We are still thinking its the teething. I'm expecting this to go on for quite a few months. When he was a baby, he started teething around 3 months, but didnt get a tooth until I think 6 months. So, I figure he'll be teething for a few months, then we'll finally see his molars come in! Hopefully after that he'll start sleeping through the night again. He is gnawing on his hands like crazy though.

Anyways, we had a beautiful day here today, and Jadon and I spent a good hour in the backyard before dinner playing and pulling weeds. It was so beautiful, around 56 degrees and clear, and now I have spring fever. We have been lucky this winter and have not had much rain, but I figure it will make up for it in the spring.

Another good thing... the days are getting longer!!!! I really cant stand it during the winter when the sun sets at 4pm, and I always look forward to the spring when daylight savings starts again. Only 17 days to go!! But who's counting??? ;)

Has it really been a week since my last post???? Sheesh, time sure flies these days! Well, nothing much to report here.... Jadon has been keeping us very busy. He is such a busy body!

I'm still trying to think of what to do for Jadon's birthday. I made out a guest list, which is just our immediate families, and it brings us to 24 guests... 27 if you count Derek, Jadon and I. Of course I know everyone wont be able to come, but still... thats alot of people! I was thinking of just going to a pizza place for his birthday, but Derek says thats expensive. So I have a question for everyone... do you think it would be rude to ask everyone to pay their own way? I know in the past when we've gone to birthday parties and have had to pay our own way, I have turned my nose up at that, but then again, those were much smaller parties. Jadon's birthday only comes once a year, and I dont want to be total tightwads and not give Jadon a special day. I wasnt planning on anything extravagant.... probably no decorations, just a cake of some sort.

So what do you all think.... is it rude to ask everyone to pay their own way?? Honest opinions only please! :)

On a different note, I cant believe he is going to be turning 2 already!!!! It just blows my mind!!! We can certainly tell he is nearing 2... he's been throwing some good tantrums, having some major separation anxiety, and we are pretty sure his 2 year molars are on their way because he has been knawing on his entire hand and drooling all over. He is really learning things left and right now... its incredible!!!!!! He's saying several words at once.... and sometimes he'll say words that we didnt even know he knew!!! However, "fork" still doesnt sound like fork, and also "jammies" doesnt sound like jammies. ;) I mentioned before that we have been working on his colors.... but we arent having much luck with that. Everything is yellow according to him. He is really enjoying coloring and playing with stickers lately. He also enjoys running laps around the table, or running in a circle in the living room. Yesterday he was running in circles and saying "today." Over and over! ...he's been throwing things ALOT, and is very familiar with timeouts now. Mommy has become a bit of a softy.... something that neither Derek nor I thought I would be .... its just crazy how much that little boy melts my heart!! Especially now that he calls me mommy!! :)

First cold of the year

Have I mentioned how much I hate being sick????? Yeah, pretty sure I have many times! ;)

Well, Jadon got his first cold of the year late last week, and passed it on to his mommy and daddy. Jadon's cold seems to be the worst of all of us, however yesterday (Sunday) I felt like absolute garbage!! Today seems better though, and I think both of us feel alot better. Haven't talked to Derek yet today to see how he is feeling.
Oh well, i've said it once and i'll say it again... i'll take a cold ANY DAY over a stomach bug!! This time of year I always start getting really paranoid about germs (even moreso than I already am), because the stomach bugs always seem to surface more often in the winter and early spring.

We've had some very unseasonable sunny and rainless weather lately.... this weekend we took Jadon outside to use some sidewalk chalk for the first time. He wasnt nearly as excited about the chalk as he was to just be outside. Plus he kept dropping the chalk and it would break in half. I am getting really eager for warmer weather.... looking forward to getting out in the yard and getting my hands dirty! I think this year Jadon will be able to "help" me in the yard. Last year I always had to wait for him to take a nap and then go outside while he was napping.

Well, Jadons birthday is in 5 weeks! I cant believe it, and I still dont know what im going to do. I just want to do something small and probably just with our immediate families.

I'm Mommy!!!!!

Jadon's been calling me Mommy for about a week now! I didnt want to say anything until I knew for sure that he knew what he was doing, but I think its pretty obvious that he knows now!! I'm so happy!!! :D Its so good to not be Dada anymore! Silly kid!

Also, he's going through a mommy phase right now... i'm not sure why since he is with me 24/7... literally! You'd think he'd be quite sick of me!! Last night I went to dinner with some friends, and he was so excited when I got home! It was nice to get out of the house, but at the same time, it makes me realize just how much I don't want a job until he's in school... I would miss him too much.

Jadon's in need of another haircut, but after our last haircutting experience, I dont know when we'll ever be able to cut his hair again. Yesterday when I got him up from nap, he didnt want to wake up, so I got the scissors and trimmed the hair over his ears while he slept. Its amazing how much of a difference that it made in his appearance!!!!

Could it be????

That Jadon will be potty training sooner that we thought? He peed in his potty twice today! And twice on the bathroom floor too... but it was all his idea to sit on the potty! We will see I guess... maybe once the excitement of it wears off he will stop wanting to use the potty.

Also, a few days ago, out of the blue he just stopped sucking his fingers. Now instead he is sticking his whole hand in his mouth and chewing on it. I'm thinking that the 2 year molars are getting ready to make their debut, plus he has been 100% more cranky and whiney too. Oh, and his sleeping has been horrible over the last 2 weeks. We are having a hard time getting him to go down at night, I think that is partially due to the whole separation anxiety thing. Plus, he is waking up at least once during the night as well. So, from what we have learned in the almost two years that we have been parents is this: if nighttime sleeping issues appear out of nowhere, it usually means he is having a developmental growth spurt OR he is teething. Lord knows how horrible his sleeping was between 3 months and 12 months thanks to teething. I say, lets just get these darn teeth in already so we can all get some sleep again! ;)

We have pee-pee in the potty!

This morning Jadon went potty in his potty chair for the first time! We think it was a fluke, but STILL!

Jadon tidbits

So we have recently discovered that Jadon knows almost every animal! We have several animal books, and we ask him to point to a certain animal, and he knows pretty much all the animals!
So yesterday I started working with him on identifying the different colors. Even though he didnt seem to be that interested, I know he is absorbing everything!

Most of the time when Jadon eats, he gets it all over himself, and when I remove his booster seat tray he's got food stuck all over his diaper and legs and even rearend (it falls down the sides, and he moves around and ends up sitting on alot of it.) Its particularly discusting when he's got oatmeal all over him... it isnt very easy to clean up! And just when you think youve got it all, you spot another piece of oatmeal. Anyways, in the past I used to take his tray off and say "oh gross." Well, of course he picked that up right away, so now whenever we clean him, or whenever he gets anything on himself he says "Oh Gross!!" Loudly! He's done that in restaurants before too! Also, he has a little lineup of phrases that he says all together. So alot of times when he says "Oh gross!" He will follow that with "Oh Man!" then he follows that with "amazing." lol!! He is such a silly kid! I think its just adorable when he says amazing... it sounds more like Oh-may-sing. Of course when we laugh at him it just eggs him on more and he tries to be even more silly! Hmm... wonder who he got that trait from (Derek)!

He helped me wash my car the other day. It was a beautiful sunny day out, but still only in the upper 40's, but I knew it would be good for us both to get outside for a bit. He "helped" me for about 3 minutes, then he decided it was funner just playing in the bucket of bubbly water. By the time we went back inside he was soaking wet and shivering! But he had a good time, and thats all that matters to me!

Papa Loveless got Jadon an instrument set for christmas, which includes a drum and drumsticks, a tamborine, a set of maracas, and a harmonica. He just loves the harmonica, and he calls it "haw-kuh-aw." He just walks around making music on it... the nice thing about the harmonica is that you really cant make a bad note on it, so it always sounds like.... well... music!

Jadon is really starting to understand soooo many things these days, its absolutely "oh-may-sing" to me! He can tell us when he's hungry...he says "hunry, eat" and signs "eat."
About the time his naps are everyday, he starts saying "nap... nap."

He absolutely adores Little Einsteins!!! One of his favorite episodes is about a car (named Carmine) that races in the Grand Prix, and the Little Einsteins have to help him win the race. All day long, he says to me "carmine?"

He also says Fork... however it doesnt sound like fork!! Its kindof embarrasing at restaurants when he says it!! I hope people dont think we are teaching him to say bad words!

Just in the last couple of days he has really started going down single steps all by himself without holding onto things. In the past he has either had to hold on to something, or crawl down backwards. Yesterday he went down two steps in a row on our stair case all by himself! I thought for sure he was going to go face first after the first step, but he did just fine!

We have been encouraging him to sit on his potty whenever he says "poo poo"... however by then the damage has already been done, so its more like just practice getting him ready.

He's been going through some separation anxiety in the last month or so, and im actually surprised he didnt go through this much earlier! The worst so far has been at church when we leave him in the nursery. However, he gets over it very quickly and by the time we pick him up he's happy, smiling and playing just fine!

Well, thats all the tidbits I can think of for now.....

Going for Gold

Recently my mom gave me a book for mothers of miscarried babies, its called A Time to be Borne. Anyways, this book has been great in helping me understand the "why me?" that always keeps popping back into my head from time to time. It doesnt make it much easier, but it does help me understand why.

Here is a passage of one of my favorite pages in the book:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Going for Gold
"But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." - Job 23:10

"You were beautiful before, but God must want you even more beautiful. I know you'll come out of this trial as gold." Tears sent tremors through my twin sister's voice in her phone call to me from a neighboring country.
Gold? I silently repeated. Who wants to go for gold? If heading for gold clearns one stack of sympathy cards off the coffee table just to receive a fresh batch, if it renders my heart a growing cavern of ache, if it makes me feel adrift and anchorless on a rough sea at midnight, count me out. I'll settle for plain tin. Focusing only on the heat of my hardship made me lose sight of the pure and priceless end result.
Gold. God is going after gold! He knows that fire removes the dross of pride, deceit, and complacency in me. He reminds me that the more often metal enters the fire, the more durable it becomes. The Refiner desires a weight of gold so shining He can view a reflection of His own beauty in it.
Oh, God, let me catch a glimpse of Your anticipation as You turn up the heat on the refining furnace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So basically I feel comfort from that passage because I know that God has given me these trials to face so He can make me a better and stronger person- the person He created me to be. He is going for gold with me!

On another page theres a quote:
Have patience and endure; this unhappiness will one day be beneficial. - Ovid

By the way, thanks Mom for this book!

My son the Ham- pictures

Well, we are having better luck getting Jadon's picture lately. I think he finally figured it all out, and loves to see the pictures we take of him.

For christmas we got him a potty to start getting acquainted with. We have no plans to start potty training until he is more ready, but we want to get him used to it. The other day Derek managed to convince Jadon to take his diaper off to sit on the potty. He is not real fond of that, I imagine the seat is cold on his little tush. His arm happened to be in just the right place at just the right time! ;)

The other day I made blueberry pancakes to freeze so I can easily pull them out in the mornings and feed them to Jadon. During the week he gets oatmeal or frosted miniwheats for breakfast, and on the saturdays I give him either pancakes, waffles or french toast as a treat and to give him something different. I dont have many options for breakfast, because he doesnt like eggs... so I cant make omelets, or scrambled eggs. Anyways, back to the blueberries... i gave him the leftover blueberries to eat. Derek said it looks like hes wearing lipstick.

Derek cleaned Jadon up after dinner the other night, and of course Jadon had the food all over in his hair.... this always seems to happen with the messiest meals. When Derek cleaned Jadon's hair, he spiked it and of course when I pulled out the camera and told Jadon to say "cheese" he turned into a big ham.

What a joy that little boy is to us!

Growing up

Jadon is growing up so fast, and every day I am more and more thankful for my little man! He is such a blessing to us!
Yesterday we were eating lunch, and I handed him a Ritz cracker, and he looked at it and said "circle." I then tried handing him a square piece of cheese and asked if he knew what shape it was, he said "cheese." Ok, so he doesnt know squares. ;)

He is such a cuddle bug, and always has been. Sometimes if he wakes up really early (like 5am-6:30am) in the morning we bring him back to our bed where he will cuddle with us, then go back to sleep, and will usually go back to sleep until at least 9am-9:30am.
Some days he wakes up at 7 or 7:30am, and I am not quite ready to get up (I've got to start getting to bed earlier), so I will bring him to bed with me, and he will just lay there cuddling with me....sometimes for 30 minutes or more. Just sucking on his fingers and cuddling. Doesnt make a peep or whine, and doesnt try to get up either. Sometimes we will lay there "talking".... like I ask him a question, or ask him to repeat a word that I say (for instance, 'Jadon, can you say elephant?') I love our morning cuddle time! He is so much like his parents in the fact that he likes to sleep late!

His newest interest at the moment is trains. Ever since he saw the train at my moms house on Christmas Eve going around the Christmas tree, he has been obsessed with trains! When we were in Washington this weekend, one day we went to the Silverdale mall for a bit to let Jadon get some exersize, while we were there we stopped at a Barnes and Noble store to look for a book for Jadon to read while in the hotel. He found a Thomas the Train book, and fell in love with it. Its the kind of book that you press the buttons and they make noise. Now he always walks around saying "Tobas."

Not only is he growing up so fast mentally, but physically as well! He is getting so tall! He doesnt fit on his changing table anymore. Also, he can reach all the door handles with ease now, and doesnt even have to get on his tiptoes. It seems like just yesterday he had to get on his toes to reach them.

I'm just amazed at how perfectly he fits into our family and how he just completes us!

Did you miss me??

We are back from our 4 day trip to Washington. They reopened I-5 on friday afternoon, so we headed out! Jadon was really good on the drive up... he took a 45 minute nap, and a short 10 minute nap before we stopped for dinner. He was happy, and pointing out all the school buses and trains/train tracks to us the whole way.
Unfortunately the first night in the hotel didnt go as well as the drive up. He didnt want to sleep at all the first night, and the next day I felt like an absolute zombie from lack of sleep. The other 2 nights went better though, but the drive home wasnt as good as the drive up. We did alot of driving over the 4 days, and I think he was just ready to be out of the car already.

We were really glad to see Derek's grandparents though. It was hard for Derek to say goodbye to his grandpa on our final day though, knowing that it could be the last time he will see him. We do hope to get up there again real soon.

It is nice to be in our own COMFORTABLE bed though!
Here's a few pix of Jadon on the trip.

Ok, well Blogger seems to be having an issue letting me put spaces between pictures so I can't explain each picture, so i'll just tell you from here. Picture #1 is a picture of Jadon about halfway to our destination. Picture #2- we were at a Mexican restaurant in Silverdale having lunch, and Jadon was just being a ham. Picture #3- Jadon resting on the hotel bed watching his all time favorite show Little Einsteins before bedtime. Picture #4- Sitting on the hotel bed eating a snack before bedtime (a different night).

Derek's Grandpa

We just got word yesterday that Derek's grandpa isn't doing well, so sometime in the next couple of days we will be making a trip up to Washington to see him. Please keep the family in your prayers.

It will be Jadon's first "trip"...i'm just sorry its not under different circumstances. I'm also a little worried about Jadon sleeping away from home... the last week we've been going through sleep issues with him again. One night he didn't go to sleep until after 11pm.... and several nights he's woken up hungry. Last night he woke up at 1:15am hungry, so I brought him downstairs for a snack in the dark. He ate crackers for a half hour!! Finally went back to bed at 2:30am. Then woke up again around 6:30am scared. I went in his bedroom to get him, and the first thing he said to me was "hairpane" in a pathetic little voice. I think he must've had a scary dream about an airplane or something.... at that point I just brought him to bed with us. Then he slept until 9:15am!

These weeks where he wakes up alot are always difficult weeks for Derek and I as we aren't having consistent sleep patterns, and our sleep is always broken, and usually for me that means getting a headache or migraine. I'm beginning to wonder if this is the reason why God didn't want us to have another baby yet... He probably thought that we would lose our minds from having a newborn up all night, and a toddler who doesn't want to sleep too!!

Happy Anniversary!

To my parents, who have now been married for 18 years today!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Its hard to believe that Derek and I have been together now for over half of the time they have been married! This September 14th, Derek and I will have been together for 10 years! (married for 6 years in August). That makes me smile! What an accomplishment!!!!! :) I am so proud!! Nothing is better than being married to your best friend!
When we celebrate our 18th "anniversary", Jadon will be 11 years old! How sad that my sweet little man will be about to enter puberty at that time! When we celebrate our 18th "wedding anniversary", he will be 15! Probably learning to drive, embarrased by his parents, and too cool to laugh at his silly dad or give his mom a hug. Hopefully by then he will be able to sleep through the night! ;)

Happy New Year!

I am so ready to leave this year behind and start a fresh new one! I'm hoping and praying that the new year will turn out a little better than this year has, but I certainly have my doubts.

Anyways, I made a new slideshow of Jadon for this year. I got rave reviews from many of you on last years slideshow and many requests to continue doing it every year. It starts from Jan. 1st, 2008, and goes in order from there to today. It was quite a year of growing and learning for him! From swimming lessons, turning 1, getting that mystery nasty rash on his body, as well as all the holidays! Learning to walk and then run, to use a spoon, and talk. Finally sleeping through the night, then waking up several times a night, then sleeping all night, then waking up.... its been a neverending cycle, and we have come to the conclusion that the weeks where he is waking up at night, he is reaching a new developmental milestone. Usually after a couple weeks of bad nights, he goes back to sleeping all night again until he is ready to reach another milestone.

I really enjoy making these slideshows and looking back over the year at all of Jadon's accomplishments. This years slideshow was especially meaningful to me to create, after having such a crappy string of miscarriages. Out of 5 pregnancies, Jadon is the only one that made it all the way (well, almost all the way), and to me he is a complete miracle. This journey of motherhood has been such a blessing to me, and i'm so grateful that God chose me to be Jadon's mommy!

Christmas Day

Christmas day started for me at 6:45am when my alarm went off. Not wanting to get out of the warm blankets yet, I laid there for 15 more minutes. At 7am the baby monitor next to me made a loud noise then started beeping that it had lost connection, so I was fidgetting with it trying to get it to go back on, then I realized that the power went out in the whole house. "Oh great!" I said aloud, and somehow that woke Derek up which is crazy because he doesnt wake up for anything!
So, I went and got Jadon and brought him to our bed to sleep some more and where we could keep our ears on him. He had not wanted to go to sleep the night before, so we knew he'd be sleeping a little longer. I could have sworn that in the semi darkness outside that it looked like there was a tiny dusting of snow on the ground. I thought it was just too dark and my eyes were playing tricks on me. Derek got up a few minutes later to see if the rest of the neighborhood was without power as well. When he came back to bed he said it looked like a dusting of snow on the ground, but thought the same thing I thought. Shortly after that Jadon woke up, so we all got up, and sure enough, there was just the tiniest dusting on the ground, but was already melting. I consider that a Christmas miracle!!
So after we got up, we ate breakfast, then Derek read the story of Jesus birth from the bible while I listened, and Jadon played with his toys from the night before. I was so eager for Jadon and Derek to open their presents so I insisted we start opening them right away after Derek finished reading.
As usual, Derek and I went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overboard on our gifts for each other. Derek got mostly clothes from me, and I got mostly electronics from him.... very strange because usually I am the one getting clothes and he is the one getting electronics. However, Derek was in need of several clothing items this year, including a winter jacket. He hasnt had a heavy winter jacket since I have known him, which is almost 10 years.
Derek got me an mp3 player so that when I use my treadmill, I wont have to use my big, bulky discman anymore. He also got me WiiFit, which I asked for. Although its more of a gift for both of us. We have been having lots of fun on it after Jadon goes to bed at night, and my goal is to lose 15 pounds in 2 months, and Dereks goal is to gain 5 pounds in 2 months. Its pretty fun, and the funniest part is seeing Derek trying to do the hula hoop excersize! I hope to get a video of him doing it, but i'll have to get it without him knowing. Its so hilarious, he looks like he's doing a booty dance, or giving a lap dance or something! Yesterday I was in tears watching him do it!

So after our little christmas, we headed over to Derek's family christmas. We opened presents there and relaxed, then Derek and I came home to feed Jadon a little lunch and get a nap. Then we went back to his families house for more socializing, dinner and game playing. It was a very relaxing day, and it just wouldnt be christmas if Karla didnt start the marshmellows on the sweet potatoes on fire! ;)

Overall, it was a wonderful christmas eve and christmas day, and like I said in my previous post, the contrast between the my families christmas and Dereks families christmas is such a perfect one, and I love them both!

Thank you to all our family for making the days so special! We love you all!!!

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve evening is always spent at my families house. We have a little socializing, then we eat dinner, then we open gifts, then more socializing. Its extremely crazy every year, and every year my mom insists she is not getting anybody gifts (except the kids), but every year she ends up getting everyone a ton of stuff. This year was no exception!

Anyway, when it comes to gift time, we all gather in the living room, although we hardly fit there anymore, and the kids pass out all the gifts at once to everyone in a frenzy of excitement! Then after everyone has all their gifts, we just tear into them. Its crazy, but I love it, and I wouldnt have it any other way! Derek always feels a little overwhelmed by it all, but it just wouldnt be the same if we didn't do it that way. Plus, the family is getting so big, we would be there all night long if we all took turns opening gifts!!

So this year I decided to take a video of the chaos that is my family's christmas, and share the madness with you all! The video does not do it justice! It actually looks fairly calm on this tiny video!

Derek and I found an area near the tree to open our gifts, so here is a video of Jadon opening his gifts. Last year he had no idea, this year he opened a few, then got bored with it.

My mom always has the most beautiful christmas trees! Every year they have a different theme too. This year she did her tree in all gold. So pretty!!!

She also has several other smaller, fake christmas trees around the house. One of them is in the kitchen area.... she bought a big train and tracks and it was going around the tree. Jadon was in love with that train and the "mote" (remote) that goes to the train!! We "won" the train, so we got to bring it home and will set it up at some point. I'm not sure where we are going to put it in our tiny house!
Christmas morning we will get up early and open our gifts from each other and to Jadon, then we will head over to Derek's families christmas, which is much calmer than my families! Its a nice contrast between the two different christmas' and I feel very blessed to have two wonderful families!
Well, its late and time to go to bed now! Merry Christmas everyone!!!

With all this crazy weather we've been having lately, I was able to divert my thoughts away from the mess thats going on in my life for a good week. It was nice to not be constantly thinking about it every second of the day. Then I went to get my blood redrawn yesterday so they could finally run the last test. As I was sitting in the chair waiting for him to take my blood, all I could think to myself was "remember why you're here?" -Ouch- nice blow to the stomach.


Anyways, sometimes I wonder if God gave me such a perfect little guy (Jadon) now because I will never be able to have more kids. I know I know, i'm getting carried away with my thoughts on that one, and when Derek reads it he is going to scold me for being so pessimistic. He's a "glass is always half full" kind of guy and i'm the "glass is always half empty" one, or as I like to say, I'm just being realistic.


I have decided that I want to learn to play the guitar. Haha, go ahead and laugh, but I think I need a new hobby and a distraction. Plus, when Jadon gets older I really want him to play an instrument, and maybe I could teach him to play guitar so we wouldnt have to do expensive lessons. They actually have an "acoustic guitar for dummies" book, and it comes with a guitar and some other little things! I think they have a "dummies" book about pretty much anything!

It is finished

I think our snow streak has ended. They were predicting we'd get more overnight, but that didnt happen, and it appears to be raining now. Sounds like our friends up north of us are getting some more snow however. I'm feeling pretty disappointed about not getting more. Yesterday we woke up to lots of great snow to play in, so I took Jadon out in the morning and we played for an hour. It was fun, but unfortunately Derek couldnt play with us because he was at work. Derek was pretty bummed about that too, so we were really hoping for some more snow this morning so that Derek could play in it with Jadon.

Snowfall

I always love to watch the snow fall, especially when its alot of big, fat flakes! Theres just something so calm and peaceful about it, and I still feel that childlike excitement everytime it snows! Anyways, miracle of all miracles, we are actually having MORE snow!!! So for our friends and family in warmer climates, I took a few short videos of the snowfall so you can enjoy the beauty with us! Hope you enjoy them!! Unfortunately the videos just do not do the beauty of it any justice. Oh, and the floating christmas tree in the second half is a reflection of our christmas tree in the living room.

Soooo Coldddddd!!!

I'm pretty sure that the banana tree that I planted this summer in the back yard will not be surviving to see another summer. It has been sooooo cold here the last couple of days....as I am typing this post it is only 14F degrees! I glanced at the banana tree really quickly the other morning when we took Jadon outside in the snow, and it did not look very happy at all.

Derek had a funny thought this morning. He said "I bet that the temperature outside is about the same as the temperature in the freezer." Very weird. So I guess I could just go put all of our freezer items outside and they'd be fine! I think it only got to 29 degrees today. Jadon and I again bundled up and headed outside in the warmest part of the day, and it took us about a half hour to walk down the road to get the mail and back. Jadon was afraid to walk on the snow and ice for some reason today, even though yesterday he was fine with it. He made me hold his hand the whole way, which is fine, I like holding his little hand while we walk together. By the time we got back I thought for sure my toes were frost bitten. And once we got inside and as I was stripping all the layers I had put on Jadon, I felt his little hands and feet, and he was actually quite warm! I guess the warm boots and fleece gloves and hat were doing their job!

Tomorrow its supposed to warm up, but they are forecasting more snow and then rain in the afternoon. If the roads improve at all, I am going to think about going to town to get some envelopes so I can finally mail christmas cards. Plus, Jadon and I are getting bored being cooped up in the house.

All I can say is, this weather is very abnormal, especially for this time of year! Derek and I are not huge fans of cold weather, and right now we are wishing we were in Florida with my grandparents, or in Hawaii with our friends the Georgievs!

Snow Day!

So I woke up at 6am on Sunday morning, and there was a dusting of snow on the ground, I was really excited but went back to bed. By the time I got up with Jadon at 7:45am, the snow was already melting, and the temperature was 34F. By noon it had all melted away... Very disappointing.

Then last night it started snowing again, and the temperature was dropping quickly. Unfortunately it snowed the very dry kind of snow that isnt much fun to play in... it doesnt pack well. On top of that, its REALLY cold out, so its not much fun being outside. I took Jadon outside for about 3 minutes this morning so I could get some pictures as evidence that we actually have some snow! In the Willamette valley, you need to take pictures anytime theres snow on the ground as evidence because its pretty rare that we ever get anything worth getting excited over. So anyways, I got a few pictures of Jadon in the snow before he pulled his mittens off, and before we completely froze through. Then this afternoon when it had warmed up to a balmy 28 degrees, Jadon and I bundled up and took a walk..... although the sidewalks and road were really slippery, so it took us about 20 minutes to walk to the end of our street, and then back again.

Anyways, here's pictures from this morning that I took really quick before the camera battery died! Jadon was a little concerned walking in it..... by the way, I forgot to mention that we got a whopping 1.5 inches!!!! WooHoo!!

Anyways, the forecast for the next few days is this: VERY cold tonight... supposed to be 15 degrees. YIKES! Clear, sunny and freezing on tuesday with a high of 32F. Wednesday, looks like snow/rain mix, and then thursday and friday looks like more of the white stuff!! At least at this point.... It always changes though. The stinky part is that the roads are all slippery, so Jadon and I will probably be stuck in the house for the next 5 days unless the ice clears. I love the snow, but not the ice.

Saturday this and that...

The lab called yesterday afternoon about my final lab order. I was thinking she was going to tell me that it was positive and thats why she was calling... I thought it was a little odd that the lab tech called to tell me that, and not my doctor. However, she was just informing me that they lost that last lab order so I would need to go in and get my blood redrawn. GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That WOULD happen!

On a different note, it looks like we might get some snow here in the next couple of days! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!! We also are forecast to get some really low temperatures in the very near future as well, and the newspaper this morning said something about freezing rain too.

Well, Jadon has recently started saying 2 and 3 word sentences. He says "sit down", "watch out", "come on", and "There it is!" Before we know it, he will be carrying on understandable conversations with us! Oh, my little man.... he's growing up so fast! I wish I could keep him this age forever!
Last month he was really into books.... this month its puzzles. I look forward to seeing what next months fad will be! ;)

Have a great Saturday everyone!

More Results

I got another one of my test results in the mail today, for the chromosome analysis. It was also negative. So, just one more left (MTHFR mutation), and I am sure that one is probably a negative as well.
I have a feeling that the cause of all of these miscarriages is from my hormone levels just not rising like they should during pregnancy... and that is really frustrating. However, it is reassuring to know that my OB is going to put me on baby aspirin and progesterone suppositories as a precautionary the next time I get pregnant.

I have thought over and over about when we might try to get pregnant again, and had mentioned that maybe in January we would try again. However, since this last miscarriage has really been hard on me, I decided that it would probably be best to wait for awhile so that I can heal emotionally, even though I don't think I will ever completely heal. I really feel God urging me to wait on Him so he can teach me patience and perseverance. Everytime I think about trying again right away, I hear a voice in my head say "wait." Thats it, just "wait." Its a tough pill for me to swallow, but so is the thought of another miscarriage.

I'm trying to think of the positive side of waiting: I get more time to spend and devote to my beautiful son, who is growing up way too quickly. Jadon will be older by then, and probably more able to understand. Plus, it might give us some time for potty training, and moving him into a toddler bed.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

We got our Christmas tree the other night, courtesy of Steve and Karla (by the way, thanks again!). It just so happened that they had an extra tree lying around, and offered it to us. I love how God always takes care of us in little ways like that!

Anyways, we put it up that same night. I didnt want it laying in the garage until the next night.... one of our cats is a bigtime sprayer and I didnt want him spraying the tree because then it would reak once we brought it in. Derek struggled with getting it into the stand, as he does every year. Finally at 9:30pm, he made a run to Fred Meyers and bought a new tree stand. I had to put the lights on it once we got the tree up, because I wanted Jadon to see the "pretties" (the lights) when he woke up the next morning! Plus I wanted him to adjust to the tree before we put the ornaments on it.

He tried to play with the lights several times during the next day, and also unplugged them 3 times and an attempted 4th time but I caught him in the act. We decided it would be best to not use any of our breakable ornaments this year, and to only put them on the top half of the tree....we know our son, and he is Curious George. We know he would never leave the tree alone if there was something on it that he wanted. We did give him one of my homemade ornaments from when I was little to play with and hang on the tree as he pleases, but as of right now its laying on the kitchen floor.

Here's a picture of our sad tree.... half naked... angel is too small.... i'm still trying to adjust to the LED lights we bought for it. They are great lights, and they dont get the least bit hot (or warm) but they are blinding, and sometimes if you look at a light at a certain angle, you can almost feel your retinas burning!

I'll post another picture of it as Christmas gets closer, and after I put the presents under it..... and hopefully I'll get a picture of Jadon in front of it too if he will cooperate! :)

The Results Are In....***UPDATED***

Two of my test results came in yesterday. Diabetes and thyroid. Both were normal, so neither of those things have been causing the miscarriages. Darn it, I was sortof hoping that it would have been my thyroid so at least i would have an answer and an easy fix. I'm still waiting to hear the results of the other 3 tests: the chromosome analysis, Factor V Leiden mutation (a blood clotting disorder), and MTHFR mutation (some kind of disorder that effects how you absorb certain vitamins, i think.)
I feel kindof in shock about all of this. I never in a million years thought id have to deal with fertility issues. On top of that, my wonderful monthly friend decided to show her ugly face yesterday.... 33 days after my last miscarriage. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly my body always goes back to normal after having a miscarriage..... almost like I never even had a miscarriage. The first "Aunt Flo" after a miscarriage is always the worst because until she shows up, theres always that little tiny spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't really a miscarriage that I had. However, since I actually have seen 2 out of 4 of the babies that I miscarried, I was holding out hope that I had been pregnant with twins and only lost one of them. Crazy, I know. Unfortunately it didnt work that way though, and there will be no baby in my arms come February, or April, or June as I had thought each time.

***UPDATE***
Also got results today of Factor V Leiden.... also a negative.

Perfectly Put

I follow several blogs other than our friends/family blogs. I found a website awhile back for people who have had miscarriages or pregnancy losses and at this website, people post their blogs for other people to read. The topic of all of these blogs is the same: overcoming grief after having been through a miscarriage/stillbirth. So i found several that i have bookmarked of amazing christian women who are going through the grief of losses, and i follow them almost every day. Its nice to read the way these women are feeling each day, whether they are feeling great one day, and crappy the next day.... its nice to know that what i am feeling is normal, because i feel that sometimes i am misunderstood.

Anyways, on one particular blog, this lady was talking about all that she was thankful for this thanksgiving. She had lost a baby boy at 19 weeks of pregnancy earlier in this year. Anyways, one thing that she wrote was just perfect to how i feel but could never think of how to word it. Heres what she said.... actually she didnt write these words, she actually read them from somewhere else, but still, this was typed in her blog:

“I think the important element is to recognize that we don't give thanks for the circumstances themselves directly, but give thanks for how they bring us to a place of emptiness that allows us to be more filled by Him. We give thanks for HIM being glorified and being sufficient THROUGH pain and suffering. So somehow, we don't elevate the ‘things’ to a position of ‘gifts’ from His hand, but we recognize that things that rob us, allow Him to restore us. Things that empty us, allow Him to fill us, things that knock us on our faces, allow us to be carried by Him, things that tear us down, allow us to be built up by Him. So we don't give thanks for the things in and of themselves, but for how they provide opportunity for us to truly be filled and blessed by the The Great Physician. We don't give thanks for the ailment, but we give thanks that He heals, He restores, He is making all things new and perfect in His glorious way and timing. And He is all we need.”

I just think that is so wonderful! Perfectly put, and so true! But its also a hard pill to swallow sometimes! After my miscarriages, and especially after my most recent one, I have a totally different look at life. I find that I am asking the Lord for more help in healing and dealing with this. Its been a very rough and bumpy road, and im sure its going to be a long one, and one that I'm sure I will never forget. I just hope that I can someday use my unfortunate "experience" to help other women who are going through a similar situation.

Jadon Tidbits

Just thought id share some cute Jadon tidbits in this post!

He is such a goofball and a ham sometimes.... many times throughout the day, Derek and I will tell him "you're silly!" or "you're cute!" When Jadon says the word silly, he says "sicky", and when he says the word cute, he says "cuke."

Also, the other day we bought some LED christmas lights that were on sale. When we got home, I took them out of the package and plugged them in for him. He just loved them! He calls them "pretties."

A Week Off!!!

I'm so excited!! Derek has this whole week off! Not sure what we will do with our time...I'd like to get Christmas shopping done. I think we are going to get Jadon a potty for christmas. Not because he is ready for it, but i'd like to get him acquainted with it before we really start potty training. Lately he's been telling us "puh puh" and grabbing his diaper when he has just went potty (pee or poo). I'm so proud of him!! We put him on the big potty a couple weeks ago when he said "puh puh", but he looked a little concerned when he was on it. I think he was worried he might fall in, even though Derek was holding him.
On Thursday (Thanksgiving day) we are spending the afternoon at my parents house eating my favorite meal of the year! Yummy!!!!!!!!!
On Saturday, Derek is going to the Civil War game with a friend, and Jadon and I are going to go to the Downtown Twice Around parade with my mom and the kids.
Then on Sunday after church we will be having Thanksgiving lunch with Dereks family! I'm so excited to spend time with our families....we have so much to be thankful for, and our wonderful families are very high on our list of things that we are thankful for!

The Appointment

I had my follow up appointment today. The good news is, now that i've had several miscarriages in a row, it raised a red flag with the doctor. Thats about the only good news so far. Basically she told me alot about what I already knew from all of my googling, so with that said she suggested that I could get some bloodwork done to see if there is an underlying cause.

The good news with that is that there are 10 things I can get tested for. The bad news is its really expensive.... the doctor came in with my lab order and said "ok, here's the million dollar work up." She didnt have exact prices on the tests for us, but she figured that all 10 tests would be several thousand dollars. Ouch!!!!! We opted to do just 5 of the tests today- the ones that are the most common cause of multiple miscarriages. That includes thyroid and hormone level tests, 2 other ones that I cant remember what they are, and also a chromosome analysis. Alot of the tests can take a long time to get results on, for example, with the chromosome analysis, they have to "grow" my chromosomes so it takes time obviously to do that.

At this point, I just wait on the results of those 5 tests. And unless I get answers before January, we will probably be waiting until next summer to try to get pregnant again. Oh, also, next time I get pregnant I will probably be given progesterone suppositories and baby asprin in the first trimester as a precaution. This supposedly helps increase your hormone levels, however from what ive researched in the past, the results are not 100% conclusive that it really helps.

I'm sure that some people are wondering why we are so eager to get pregnant again. Basically, my biological clock is ticking. I'm going to be 30 in a year and a half, and I want at least 3 kids.... the older you get, the higher risk you are for things like down syndrome, and even miscarriage, as well as other things. Plus, I want to have as much energy for my kids as I can. Besides, now that i've been pregnant 3 times this year and my dreams have been crushed each time, i'm dead set on having another one as soon as we can.

So basically to summarize, my appt. went as well as could be expected, still no answers yet as to why im losing babies, waiting on results of bloodwork to find out.

Like father, like son

So I have heard the story several times from my mother-in-law, Karla, that when Derek was a youngster, he decided to paint the walls with his poop.

This morning after breakfast, I was enjoying my fresh cup of coffee while Jadon was watching one of his favorite shows, Little Einsteins. At one point, he came to me and requested that I pick him up. Sometimes in the mornings he just needs a few extra minutes of cuddle time with me, so I obliged, but before I sat him on my lap I smelled it- Freshly squashed poo.... and I dont mean he had pooped and then sat on it in his diaper... no, this was definately not the same kind of poo smell that my child normally creates. This was the kind of stench that smells likes poo thats been messed with- like a pile of dog poo thats been stepped in- It has a different odor to it than a pile that hasnt been disturbed. So Jadon smelled like poo that had been messed with. It was then that I noticed a smear of brown on his side, under his belly button. I quickly looked his hands over but didn't see anything on them, looked him over every where else and didnt see any more evidence, so I told him we needed to go upstairs so I could change his diaper. On the way to the stairs, I quickly scanned the living room to make sure that there were no toys with poo on them, or on the carpet. But low and behold, Jadon decided to paint the entertainment center!!!! Gross is all I have to say about it!
I didnt even know he had pooed! Usually you can smell him a mile away, but I smelled nothing until I had picked him up.
Like father, like son!

Oh swell.....

My appt is next week, and i've been eagerly looking forward to it..... until I found this article about miscarriages in the NY Times from several months ago. It says: "For 80 to 90 percent of women who lose one pregnancy, the next one, even with no treatment, results in a successful birth. But the devastation is compounded and the statistics slightly less hopeful when a woman has lost two or more pregnancies. After two consecutive miscarriages, there is a 75 percent chance that the next pregnancy will be maintained. After three miscarriages, there is a 65 percent chance." Thats only slightly more than 50%! Thats just great.
Then it goes on to say: " Even after the most thorough work-up, half to three-fourths of couples with recurrent pregnancy loss 'will have no certain diagnosis,' the report states."

I'm beginning to feel like we may never have another baby. Sorry for such a dismal post, but like I said in a previous post, there are good days and bad days.... today's one of those not-so-good days. I caught baby fever again yesterday from out of nowhere. Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks since my last miscarriage, however it seems like its been months. Thankfully I havent had too many "bad" days in the last 2 weeks.

Stress

So Jadon's diaper changes can get a bit stressful sometimes... and the dream I had last night just proves it!
This entire dream was about changing Jadon's poopy diaper! Basically it was a really poopy diaper, and poo was squished into every male crevise Jadon has. He kept getting his foot in the dirty diaper, then when i'd try to wipe the poo off his foot, he'd stick his hand down there and would get poo on his hand. So i'd wipe the poo off his hand and his foot would get in it again! It was a nightmare!!! And it was like that for several minutes- foot in poo, wipe foot- hand in poo, wipe hand- foot in poo, wipe foot, etc.
The sad thing is, that is sometimes how his diaper changes are!!! Apparently its torture to make a 20 month old sit still for 2 minutes to put a clean diaper on!!