My grandparents were up visiting from Florida for the last week, and today they left, and I miss them already. :( I wish it were cheaper to fly so we could go visit them more often, but good grief, flying is outrageous!
So i'm going to try to make some changes around here. First of all, i've gained way too much weight in the last 2 years. I did so well after I had Avery, I lost 45 pounds (not including baby weight... you can add an additional 20 or so to the total.) I was in the right frame of mind for weight loss at that time though. Now i've gained 30 of it back, yes you read that right. The first step is admittance, right? And its really really hard to admit, especially to people other than myself.
So the question is why? Why did I gain it all back? And I do not know the EXACT reason, but I do feel like its a combination of things.
#1 We moved. When we moved to the rental, it had no counter space, so I went back to using boxed goods and no menu. Quick, easy meals that required little counter space for prepping.
#2 Also during that time, I was a little depressed from moving, and especially during that time of the year (fall/winter) when i'm always hit hardest. I don't like the short days, I don't do well in the cold, and we are always sick during that time. So winters are hard on me. Add to it being sad from moving into such a depressing place.... perfect storm.
#3 Jadon. I love that boy more than life, but he can make things stressful sometimes. I feel terrible saying that, he is my son, and God made him the way he is and he is perfect in His image, but it can take its toll on our family when he's so anxious. I eat when i'm stressed. And it tastes GREAT going down, but then the guilt hits me afterwards and it just adds to it.
#4 Migraines- One of my migraine triggers is missing meals. Anytime I let myself get too hungry, or eat a meal late, I get a migraine. So i've learned over the years that I need to always have a snack readily available for me so I can eat if i'm hungry.
#5 Laziness. Part of my laziness I can blame on my back, but the other times i'm just lazy. I'm tired from not sleeping well on nights when Jadon's worried, and so I just don't move nearly as much as I should.
So changes HAVE to be made before I end up back where I started. And i've tried over the last year, but never succeed, and I realize its because i've been in the wrong frame of mind. I feel that a lot of weight loss success is due to how you're thinking. If you're not fully committed, it ain't going to happen, at least that's the case for me. And right now I don't feel like i'm in the right mind frame, so I need to figure out how to change that and GET back into the frame of mind I was at when I lost those 45 pounds!
So i've got a billion new recipes to try, and i'm going to try to make a new one at least once a week, maybe twice.
Going to try to go with more fresh "real" ingredients as opposed to processed garbage.
And i'm going to try to keep up with my menu. I'm at about half the menu right now, where i'll make half the month then forget, or i'll forget an ingredient in a meal so we have to have something else that night instead.
Also, if we ever get a dog, that will be a GREAT excuse for me to go on daily walks with the dog! Because I hate walking by myself, even in the neighborhood, at least having a dog with me would make me feel not so alone!
Now that the kids are in school, i'm going to try to do a new pinterest project every other week or so. I've got so many ideas, and then I never do anything with them! What a waste.
Also i'm going to try to help out in Jadon's classroom. Which is stepping out of my comfort zone a little. I know, it sounds weird that helping in my child's class is stepping out of my comfort zone, but remember i'm introverted, i'd prefer to just sit as a fly on the wall, or work behind the scenes.
Other things going on here: We are gearing up for Avery's birthday party in a couple weeks! It is, of course, a Frozen theme. ;) My baby is going to be 5!!!!!!!!!! :*(
Also, per my acupuncturist recommendation, I've started taking a magnesium supplement for these migraines. And I don't know if its just coincidence or what, but I have hardly had any migraines in the last month and a half that i've been taking it! I know its not the acupuncture, because i'd stopped going before I started taking it, and I had still been getting migraines. So, we will see if this trend continues! I hope it does, but sadly getting a migraine is still always in the back of my mind all the time.
So that's where we are right now in life! Or I guess I should say, where I am. Derek's at work most of the time, Jadons at school most of the time, and Avery is in between home and school.
This is the first day in awhile that we've had nothing going on, so today Derek and I are going to pull everything out of our garage and clean it out. We've got lots of spider action going on in the garage that i'm really not fond of!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Crippled
I'm crippled right now, and it really sucks.
So y'all know my history with my back pain. Last year I had really bad back pain, went to physical therapy and that helped. (I won't mention the part where I stopped doing my back exercises like I was supposed to after my physical therapy sessions ended........) Also tried acupuncture but that didn't really seem to help much either. My back is already "sensitive" to too much stress on it, so this previous Friday, I was hunched over cleaning bathrooms, hunched over mopping the floor, hunched over working in the yard. My back doesn't like hunching. So that night, when I was hunched over embracing my dear daughter in a hug, my back screamed at me. The muscles in my lower back tightened and cramped up and now i'm back to a year ago where my back hurt so bad I could barely move. (this is where I cry and kick myself for not doing my exercises like I'm supposed to.)
So Friday night I slept terrible. My back was throbbing with pain in the middle of the night and I laid in bed and did a few small stretches which calmed its screaming enough to let me get back to sleep.
Saturday though, we had obligations. It was Jadon's last day with his psychologist, who is leaving the state to pursue a new job as a dean. I didn't get to go since I was gimping along and couldn't get ready in time. So us girls stayed home and I sat on the heating pad.
Then after that, Jadon and I had to go to the Humane Society for orientation on volunteering. Started off sitting in cold, hard, metal chairs for 15 minutes there, then we were on our feet for an hour and a half while they showed us the ropes around the new facility. Needless to say, i'm extremely grateful to have heated seats in the minivan, because although it was over 90 degrees out, I had my seat heater on high to sooth my aching back after the orientation was over. The rest of Saturday, I literally spent the entire rest of the day in this same chair i'm in right now with the heating pad on my back.
Today it feels very slightly better. At least, its not throbbing anymore. But i'll still need to take it easy. And i'll start my exercises again, and hopefully I won't stop again.
My exercises are a pain because I have to spend 30-45 minutes laying on the floor doing stretches and muscle building exercises. When my back is killing me, its easy to do it because it helps my back get better. But when my back feels fine, its hard to do it because I have a million other things I could be doing than laying on the floor stretching a back that doesn't hurt. Not to mention, laying on the floor several times a day to do exercises always makes me sleepy.
So really this whole thing is my own fault for quitting the exercises after my back got better.
But thankfully it happened on the weekend and I have an amazing husband to take care of me and the kids. :) He won't let me lift a finger.
Yesterday evening, the kids were out back playing, I was sitting here of course, and Derek was getting ready to make some dinner. Suddenly the kids were gone. Sometimes they get out of view from the windows but they are over on the sides of the house. Or, I've found Avery all the way up the hill at her friend Avery's house knocking on their door to see if Avery is home to play with Avery. Or across the culdesac at the other neighbors house saying hi to them and their dogs, or next door at the neighbors house playing with a visiting baby. One day I even found them all the way up at the mailboxes! They told me they saw a man that they thought was a neighbor up the road that we hadn't met before and they wanted to go say hi and see if he was nice!!!!! (WHAT THE HECK???? didn't anyone ever teach these kids about stranger danger????? The short answer is YES!!!! They've been taught many many many times about strangers!!!!!! The funny thing is, when we are in town at say the checkout, and the cashier talks to them, they hide their faces and don't say anything.) So they've been informed they are not allowed to go in the front yard by themselves (we can't see them out front), and they are not to leave the backyard.
So yesterday when I was sitting on the heating pad and Derek was getting ready to make dinner, and the kids went missing, he was running around the house frantically looking around all over outside for them with no sight of them. It was about that time that the neighbor next door texts and says she has the kids.
So what did they do? They went to her backyard and went up on her deck and to her back door.
Sigh.
Sometimes I feel these children have no sense in their noggins! They are just so social, and always want to hang out with people and animals. Thankfully we have amazing neighbors who LOVE our kids (or so they say), and gladly let them come over and pester them. I'm thankful they are social, they certainly didn't get that from me! ;)
Another funny story, the kids were going to the neighbors house up the hill to play while Derek and I went to the school for curriculum night. Now, I had told them not to ask them for food because they do that a lot- eat people out of house and home. (you'd think I never feed them.) So I told them they didn't need to eat there because we just ate dinner. So Avery asks me some scenarios- what if I need a drink. My answer, you can ask for a drink of water. What if they give me something to eat? My answer, that's fine if they offer you something then you can accept it, but you don't need to ask them for anything other than water.
Now Jadon usually doesn't ask for things, but Avery has no shame in it. So when the neighbor mom was making cookies, Avery informed her that she wasn't allowed to eat one.... unless she offered her one, then she was allowed to eat it. Subtle hint Avery! ;)
She got the cookie.
Never a dull moment with those two!
So yes, Jadon and I are now official volunteers for the humane society! He's excited, and I am as well. To start we are going to go once a week for an hour to play with the kitties. Then I think we'll add some morning time to that, which is when they do the cleaning of cages, and perhaps we'll clean some kitties cages (it'll be good for Jadon.) Then eventually we may work our way up to the dogs.
Well that's it for now!
So y'all know my history with my back pain. Last year I had really bad back pain, went to physical therapy and that helped. (I won't mention the part where I stopped doing my back exercises like I was supposed to after my physical therapy sessions ended........) Also tried acupuncture but that didn't really seem to help much either. My back is already "sensitive" to too much stress on it, so this previous Friday, I was hunched over cleaning bathrooms, hunched over mopping the floor, hunched over working in the yard. My back doesn't like hunching. So that night, when I was hunched over embracing my dear daughter in a hug, my back screamed at me. The muscles in my lower back tightened and cramped up and now i'm back to a year ago where my back hurt so bad I could barely move. (this is where I cry and kick myself for not doing my exercises like I'm supposed to.)
So Friday night I slept terrible. My back was throbbing with pain in the middle of the night and I laid in bed and did a few small stretches which calmed its screaming enough to let me get back to sleep.
Saturday though, we had obligations. It was Jadon's last day with his psychologist, who is leaving the state to pursue a new job as a dean. I didn't get to go since I was gimping along and couldn't get ready in time. So us girls stayed home and I sat on the heating pad.
Then after that, Jadon and I had to go to the Humane Society for orientation on volunteering. Started off sitting in cold, hard, metal chairs for 15 minutes there, then we were on our feet for an hour and a half while they showed us the ropes around the new facility. Needless to say, i'm extremely grateful to have heated seats in the minivan, because although it was over 90 degrees out, I had my seat heater on high to sooth my aching back after the orientation was over. The rest of Saturday, I literally spent the entire rest of the day in this same chair i'm in right now with the heating pad on my back.
Today it feels very slightly better. At least, its not throbbing anymore. But i'll still need to take it easy. And i'll start my exercises again, and hopefully I won't stop again.
My exercises are a pain because I have to spend 30-45 minutes laying on the floor doing stretches and muscle building exercises. When my back is killing me, its easy to do it because it helps my back get better. But when my back feels fine, its hard to do it because I have a million other things I could be doing than laying on the floor stretching a back that doesn't hurt. Not to mention, laying on the floor several times a day to do exercises always makes me sleepy.
So really this whole thing is my own fault for quitting the exercises after my back got better.
But thankfully it happened on the weekend and I have an amazing husband to take care of me and the kids. :) He won't let me lift a finger.
Yesterday evening, the kids were out back playing, I was sitting here of course, and Derek was getting ready to make some dinner. Suddenly the kids were gone. Sometimes they get out of view from the windows but they are over on the sides of the house. Or, I've found Avery all the way up the hill at her friend Avery's house knocking on their door to see if Avery is home to play with Avery. Or across the culdesac at the other neighbors house saying hi to them and their dogs, or next door at the neighbors house playing with a visiting baby. One day I even found them all the way up at the mailboxes! They told me they saw a man that they thought was a neighbor up the road that we hadn't met before and they wanted to go say hi and see if he was nice!!!!! (WHAT THE HECK???? didn't anyone ever teach these kids about stranger danger????? The short answer is YES!!!! They've been taught many many many times about strangers!!!!!! The funny thing is, when we are in town at say the checkout, and the cashier talks to them, they hide their faces and don't say anything.) So they've been informed they are not allowed to go in the front yard by themselves (we can't see them out front), and they are not to leave the backyard.
So yesterday when I was sitting on the heating pad and Derek was getting ready to make dinner, and the kids went missing, he was running around the house frantically looking around all over outside for them with no sight of them. It was about that time that the neighbor next door texts and says she has the kids.
So what did they do? They went to her backyard and went up on her deck and to her back door.
Sigh.
Sometimes I feel these children have no sense in their noggins! They are just so social, and always want to hang out with people and animals. Thankfully we have amazing neighbors who LOVE our kids (or so they say), and gladly let them come over and pester them. I'm thankful they are social, they certainly didn't get that from me! ;)
Another funny story, the kids were going to the neighbors house up the hill to play while Derek and I went to the school for curriculum night. Now, I had told them not to ask them for food because they do that a lot- eat people out of house and home. (you'd think I never feed them.) So I told them they didn't need to eat there because we just ate dinner. So Avery asks me some scenarios- what if I need a drink. My answer, you can ask for a drink of water. What if they give me something to eat? My answer, that's fine if they offer you something then you can accept it, but you don't need to ask them for anything other than water.
Now Jadon usually doesn't ask for things, but Avery has no shame in it. So when the neighbor mom was making cookies, Avery informed her that she wasn't allowed to eat one.... unless she offered her one, then she was allowed to eat it. Subtle hint Avery! ;)
She got the cookie.
Never a dull moment with those two!
So yes, Jadon and I are now official volunteers for the humane society! He's excited, and I am as well. To start we are going to go once a week for an hour to play with the kitties. Then I think we'll add some morning time to that, which is when they do the cleaning of cages, and perhaps we'll clean some kitties cages (it'll be good for Jadon.) Then eventually we may work our way up to the dogs.
Well that's it for now!
Friday, September 5, 2014
Anxiety is no picnic
I would have thought the first day of school would have been Jadon's highest anxiety of the week. But he actually did really well on day 1. Didn't sleep well at all the night before, but he did well at school nonetheless.
Next couple days went fine and dandy without any issues.
Then today came. And he woke up and was immediately anxious. He had pain in his stomach and tried to tell us he wasn't feeling well. We know better now. He gets pains and twinges in his stomach all the time, as most of us do I imagine, (btw, we had his pediatrician check his stomach to make sure nothing was wrong with him) however he's so hyper-focused on them that he freaks out with every ache, pain, twinge with his body, especially when its in his stomach.
So today did not start off well. And then he refused to do anything and refused to go to school. We were not going to reinforce his fears and eventually got him to get dressed and ready, however he missed the bus, and was a half hour late to school.
And in case anyone thinks we are cruel for making him go, he's pulled the "i don't feel well" many times, and is always fine. His psychologist said we can't give in to those things because it just reinforces his fears and he will never learn how to cope. As hard as it is, we must stick to it.
Sigh.
On a different note, we had curriculm night at the school last night, where we met Jadon's teacher and heard all about what they would be doing this year in 2nd grade. LOOOOOVE his teacher so far! She's energetic and positive and upbeat. She's been teaching for 20 years. So i'm excited for his year this year, I think it will be a fun one for him! (if he can relax)
Last year he had a good teacher, but she was old (had been teaching for 43 years!), oldschool, quiet, and quite frankly a little dull. So they are completely opposite.
We heard all about the new common core learning that they are doing now. And while I hated it before, and wondered why in the world they would change the old way that wasn't broken. But, she said they were finding that kids that graduated highschool were not college ready, and so the common core seems to have higher standards and gives kids an alternate method of learning. You won't find any multiple choice questions! And while I still have my doubts, it sounds much less retarded now after she explained it to us. We will see how well it works when the kids that start on it graduate... that'll be awhile though!
So there's 70 some 2nd graders at the school, so they now have three 2nd grade teachers to accomodate them all. Last year Jadon had 31 kids in his class, this year he has 24, so that's a better number! Unfortunately he got separated from his good buddies. But fortunately he isn't in the same class as the neighbor boy that hangs out at our house all. the. time! (That's a whole other story.... a quite annoying story!)
Avery, well, she's Avery. Goofy, silly, lovey, etc. She started second year of preschool and of course loves it! I'm so thankful that she's a good kid, and I think when she sees us struggling at any given time with Jadon, she realizes she needs to be on her best behavior because we are completely exasperated! (Thank you Jesus!!!!) She has her moments, but its rarely at the same time Jadon's having a "moment." Next year she will start all day kindergarten and I will miss my little stinker. :*(
First day of school was weird without all the noise in the house, and I felt a little lonely and missed my kiddos. I'm already getting back into the groove though and its actually rather nice having quiet! ;)
Next couple days went fine and dandy without any issues.
Then today came. And he woke up and was immediately anxious. He had pain in his stomach and tried to tell us he wasn't feeling well. We know better now. He gets pains and twinges in his stomach all the time, as most of us do I imagine, (btw, we had his pediatrician check his stomach to make sure nothing was wrong with him) however he's so hyper-focused on them that he freaks out with every ache, pain, twinge with his body, especially when its in his stomach.
So today did not start off well. And then he refused to do anything and refused to go to school. We were not going to reinforce his fears and eventually got him to get dressed and ready, however he missed the bus, and was a half hour late to school.
And in case anyone thinks we are cruel for making him go, he's pulled the "i don't feel well" many times, and is always fine. His psychologist said we can't give in to those things because it just reinforces his fears and he will never learn how to cope. As hard as it is, we must stick to it.
Sigh.
On a different note, we had curriculm night at the school last night, where we met Jadon's teacher and heard all about what they would be doing this year in 2nd grade. LOOOOOVE his teacher so far! She's energetic and positive and upbeat. She's been teaching for 20 years. So i'm excited for his year this year, I think it will be a fun one for him! (if he can relax)
Last year he had a good teacher, but she was old (had been teaching for 43 years!), oldschool, quiet, and quite frankly a little dull. So they are completely opposite.
We heard all about the new common core learning that they are doing now. And while I hated it before, and wondered why in the world they would change the old way that wasn't broken. But, she said they were finding that kids that graduated highschool were not college ready, and so the common core seems to have higher standards and gives kids an alternate method of learning. You won't find any multiple choice questions! And while I still have my doubts, it sounds much less retarded now after she explained it to us. We will see how well it works when the kids that start on it graduate... that'll be awhile though!
So there's 70 some 2nd graders at the school, so they now have three 2nd grade teachers to accomodate them all. Last year Jadon had 31 kids in his class, this year he has 24, so that's a better number! Unfortunately he got separated from his good buddies. But fortunately he isn't in the same class as the neighbor boy that hangs out at our house all. the. time! (That's a whole other story.... a quite annoying story!)
Avery, well, she's Avery. Goofy, silly, lovey, etc. She started second year of preschool and of course loves it! I'm so thankful that she's a good kid, and I think when she sees us struggling at any given time with Jadon, she realizes she needs to be on her best behavior because we are completely exasperated! (Thank you Jesus!!!!) She has her moments, but its rarely at the same time Jadon's having a "moment." Next year she will start all day kindergarten and I will miss my little stinker. :*(
First day of school was weird without all the noise in the house, and I felt a little lonely and missed my kiddos. I'm already getting back into the groove though and its actually rather nice having quiet! ;)
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