Happy Birthday Derek!!!

My wonderful, handsome hubby turned 27 today! He hates the attention on his birthday, but I can't help but post on here at least tell him Happy Birthday!!!!

We celebrated by going to dinner (just the 3 of us) at Red Robin (Derek's choice for the evening), and then having dessert at home of chocolate cream pie (he's not much of a cake person).

I still havent bought him a birthday gift... ive been asking him for the last 2 months what he wants, but he has never given me much of any answer... I havent gotten him anything for fathers day yet either (for the same reason as mentioned above), so now I am behind by 2 gifts! Yikes!!! He is the hardest person I know to buy gifts for, yet he is the most thoughtful gift giver when it comes to presents for his wife! He has no problem digging deep into his pockets to buy me expensive and terrific gifts, and yet wants nothing in return. I'm sorry, but I cant give him nothing! He works hard and is very good to me and Jadon, so he deserves something too! I just better figure out something to give him before Christmas!!!!! :)

Happy Birthday Daniel!!!

So yesterday was my baby brothers (well, one of my baby brothers anyways!) 13th birthday!! Daniel’s big 13th birthday, and I can hardly believe where the time went! Seems like just yesterday I was out driving the combine and he came out to ride with me as a young toddler… about Jadon’s age! He wasn’t much of a nap taker when he was little, and back then we had a hammock on our side yard… I remember swinging on the hammock with Daniel trying to get him to sleep. He did eventually go to sleep, but then as soon as I moved he would wake up! (Jadon??? Sure sounds like Jadon!)

Daniel is not a little guy anymore though… he’s now 5 feet 7 inches tall!!! Just 2 inches shorter than me!! Yikes!!! I predict that next year on his birthday he will be taller than me!

So anyways, to celebrate his special day (and it was also a celebration of Derek’s birthday which is in a couple of days), we went to the new Italian restaurant here in town, Carinos. Just the family: mom, dad, the kids, Ashley, and Derek, Jadon and I. The food was terrific! I got chicken fettuccini alfredo, and Derek got the lasagna. They also serve the best bread before your meal comes, and a salad that’s a little on the small side, but really good as well! After lunch we went to my parents house for cake and ice cream and conversation. Jadon had fun playing “catch” with the kids….. or should I say it was playing “fetch”???? Jadon would throw the football, and thought it was hilarious when the kids would go get the ball and bring it back to him.... sounds more like fetch to me! ;)

Overall it was a nice time, and I hope that Daniel enjoyed his special day!

Happy Birthday Big Dan!!! ;)

Isn't he the cutest thing ever?!?!

So I know all parents think their kids are the cutest and smartest kids ever, but I really do think that Jadon is one of the cutest!!! And I'm not just saying that because I'm his mommy! ;)

When he was a newborn, I thought he was so cute and that he certainly couldnt get any cuter! But sure enough, he's turned into such an adorible, happy toddler!

He is growing up so quickly! He is walking very well now... and has started doing a little running too, though its pretty clumsy but improving every day! He is saying about 15 words now, and understands almost all of what we tell him. It just seems like he is picking up new things every day! I never imagined I'd enjoy having a toddler as much as I thought id enjoy a newborn... but I am just LOVING his age right now! Well, aside from his little tantrums that he has even started doing in public, I am loving everything about being a mommy of my 16 month old!

He is also growing up quickly physically lately! His lower half has always been a size smaller than his upper half... but he is now wearing some 18 month shirts, and 12 month pants! His feet are growing faster than anything though! He's wearing size 5 easily now, and I feel like any pair of shoes he fits into one month, the next month he has completely outgrown them!! He's got 12 teeth now.... the 12th tooth just poked through a few days ago... one of his eye teeth! I'll be really glad when teething is done with because it really messes with his night time sleeping.

A few days ago we bought him a booster chair so he can sit at the table with us. He still has to use his high chair for messier meals until we can find some plastic covers to put on our kitchen chairs.... you've seen the mess he makes!!! Here he is in his new booster seat at dinner the other night. What a big boy!!

He's just got the cutest little personality too! He is very much like both his mommy and daddy... he's very timid in large crowds or unfamiliar places like his mommy, and yet at home he is the BIGGEST goofball like his daddy! Tonight while we were eating dinner, daddy ripped one at the dinner table and started laughing, then Jadon was laughing at daddy, which made me laugh, so before you know it, we were all laughing hysterically! Jadon loves to laugh with us, and tries to make us laugh as well by doing silly things.
He has brought so much joy to our life, and I can't even remember how it was before we had him, and I dont really want to!

The Coast

So Derek took thursday and friday off of this week, so yesterday (friday) he decided he wanted to take Jadon to the Oregon Coast Aquarium. So after we ate lunch, we hopped in the car and headed for the coast. We went to the Aquarium first, and Jadon liked all the fish tanks! We had the opportunity to watch the otters and sea lions get fed, but when we got to those exhibits, there were tons of people already crowded around, so we couldnt see anything. So we left and went to the Passages of the Deep exhibit. Jadon also liked that. Before leaving, we stopped off at the potty's.... I was going to go, but after stepping foot in the bathroom, being hit with the worst possible wave of the smell of butt (not poo, but like someone hadnt washed their rearend in a few years! gag!!!) I turned and hightailed it out of there!! Holy cow, it was awful!

So then we headed to the historic bayfront in search of a store selling salt water taffy. We found one, and spent $17 on taffy!!! The price was $5 per pound, so it was easy to spend $17! Now we've got enough salt water taffy to last us for quite some time! YummY!!

After that, we stopped at a restaurant called the Rogue. The food was okay..... but it smelled alot better than it tasted. Derek and I both ordered Halibut fish and chips... The fish part was good, but there was alot of deep fat fried batter on it that was almost too overpowering. Jadon got chicken strips and chips and jello. We were expecting french fries to come with his meal, but they served potato chips with it, which we thought was kindof strange. He didnt eat real well, but we werent surprised, he was very distracted by everything going on around him, and he had a very short nap in the car and was acting a little cranky.

After dinner, Derek wanted to go see the historic bayfront lighthouse which was about a 5 minute drive away. It was closed... had just closed shortly before we got there, but there was a "park" and a great view of the ocean and the boats coming and going, so we stayed for awhile and wandered around, letting Jadon get some use of his legs before going back into the car for the ride home. The "park" was just picnic tables and a few paths.... there was a bum laying beside one of the picnic tables, and we werent sure if he was alive or dead. Also found a used tampon on the side of the road... yes thats right USED!

Luckily the weather was nice...clear, and not too cold, but still required a lite sweater for those gusts of wind, and the view was beautiful as the sun was going down on the ocean. We got home around 7:30pm or so. Even though our trip to the coast wasnt perfect, it was nice to get out of the house and away from everything.

Here's some pictures of our day. Its really hard to get good ones of Jadon anymore... he never smiles and wont sit still long enough to get a good one! So, here's the best I could get:

Doctor appointment

So this morning I had my follow up appointment with my OB. It was horrible sitting in the waiting room because all the women who came through were very pregnant! Made me jealous! I also felt a little emotional being there for the reason I was there.
Anyways, I basically got all the best possible news that I could have asked for! Everything healed up just fine, so that was good as well!
My first question was "when can we start trying again?" To which she answered- after I have my first post miscarriage period. Horray!!!!!
Next I asked if there was an increased chance for another miscarriage. Her answer was- no, not really since both of my miscarriages were pretty early on. And since i've had a successful pregnancy already, that definitely is in my favor.
The final question I asked was if there was something other than genetics-gone-wrong that caused my miscarriage- Since after a heartbeat is found, the chances of having a miscarriage drop to 5%? Her answer- The chances of miscarriage drop to 5% once a heartbeat is found AFTER the 8 week mark. Before 8 weeks, the chances of miscarriage are still higher. So this baby probably died for the same reason the first one did, and for the same reason that most miscarriages happen- chromosomal abnormalities. Again I urge those of you who arent familiar with miscarriage to read the link that I posted a week or so ago.

The doctor did mention that when I get pregnant again, in the second trimester I may need to have progesterone shots to help the next baby make it to "full term" (that is 38-42 weeks). We'll cross that bridge when the time comes though! I'm so thankful that I received all good news!! It makes me feel so much better about the next pregnancy!

Family Weekend

So this was a fairly busy weekend I guess. On Saturday, Derek, Jadon and I went to the park and had a picnic lunch and played for awhile. Then that evening we went to Heidi and Mike's new house for a BBQ for a going away party for Jen and Ryan/birthday party for Karla. Then Sunday evening we went to my parents house for some dessert of ice cream and cake and/or root beer floats.

Jadon had a good time at Heidi's pushing around a doll stroller, and at my mom's house he had fun playing with the dog leash. ;) I swear, just give that kid a piece of string or rope and he could entertain himself with it for hours! Here are a few pictures from our picnic at the park:

Today when Jadon is napping, I think i'll move a few bushes in my yard. Derek gets so annoyed with me because I will plant a bush or flower or tree and then a year or so later decide to move it somewhere else. Usually I do this because the plant is either A.) not growing how I thought it would. B.) not thriving in the part of the yard its in: ie, too shady or too sunny. C.) If I move things around, the space will look better. Its my way of improving the yard without spending the money on more bushes. Plus, I love working in the yard, and at the moment, we really dont have a whole lot left to do with the yard, so I FIND things that I can do. :) I don't particularly care for the roses that are in the little bed around our front porch.... I mean yes they smell delicious when they are blooming, and they are really pretty, but they get so big that they hide the whole porch, and the bushes themselves are not that attractive. I would love to move those somewhere else, but i'm pretty sure Derek would kill me if I did that. :)

Our Day

So we have only gone to 3 of our swimming lesson days this session because of me having the miscarriage. We did get to go on tuesday, and its a good thing because it was picture day! So i'll be posting some more underwater pictures again soon. We were going to go to swimming yesterday as well, but Jadon developed a nasty diaper rash the night before, and I didn't want the highly chlorinated water to irritate or hurt him, so we missed another day. I think his diaper rash is from eating a lot of pineapple... i'm thinking the acidity of the pineapples was burning his butt!

Anyways, instead of going to swimming, Jadon and I decided to go to Corvallis anyways, and so we stopped at Arby's and ate lunch together before the 9-5 crowds showed up. Then we made our way over to the new Michaels Arts and Crafts store. I hadn't been in there yet and was very eager to check it out. Oh, I am in love with that store! I think its my new favorite store! My mind was just running wild with project ideas! Its like heaven for the artistic person! I'm not saying i'm very artsy fartsy, but I really really want to be, and my mom is very crafty so I have to have the gene in me too.... right??

Anywho, eventually I knew I had to leave Michael's because it was getting close to nap time, so reluctantly we left and went to Winco for a few groceries, then headed home. It was a fun day, a beautiful, warm (but not too hot) day, and I will never forget my time in Michael's! :)

Avery Park

Took Jadon to Avery Park this weekend for a little bit. Most of the toys on the playground at the bottom part of Avery Park were a little too old and advanced for him, so really he could only play on the swing. After a bit, we decided to walk to the top part of the park where the small playground and train and dinosaur bones are. We let Jadon walk by himself, but it took us a long time to get there! He was so distracted by everything..... a dog playing in the distance. He stopped and pointed to the dog and said "Puh Puh" (puppy). Melts my heart everytime I hear him "talk"!
Also, he was a little afraid of the big leaves and sticks on the ground. We dont have any big trees that leave sticks or leaves in our yard or around our house, so they were foreign to him. Also, we were able to walk a good part of the park in the shade of those big trees, but every once in awhile we would get to a clearing where the shade would end and the sun would be shining brightly on the ground. Poor little guy was afraid to walk on the sunny parts! It took quite a bit of convincing, and even a little nudging to get him to walk on the sunny areas.
Once at the top of the park, we went in the train- he wasnt really interested in the train yet. Then we went to the playground area, and he got to swing some more, and also got to play on a this little mini teeter totter thing. He liked that! Then daddy put him down the slide.... his face was one of complete worry, though it happened so fast he didnt have time to even think about it.
Anyways, it was fun! Makes me wish we had a bigger yard that he could run around in, and trees that he could seek shelter under from the hot sun. Hopefully someday we will be able to have a home with a little more space (indoors and outdoors!) For now, we are just happy to own a nice home and have a roof over our heads, and shelter from the hot/cold weather!

Update

So I have to go back to the OB office in a few weeks. The nurse called today and said that the doctor likes to make sure everything heals up good for her patients that have miscarriages. They didn't do that after my first miscarriage, but then again, I wasn't an "established" patient of theirs yet.
I look forward to that appointment because then I can ask her some questions like what are my odds of having another miscarriage? Why did the baby die after a heartbeat was detected? (like i've said before, once a heartbeat is found, the odds of miscarriage drop to less than 5%).

I found a website that explains very easily why miscarriage occurs- if anyone is interested, here's the link: Miscarriage. It also has a section at the bottom for people who know someone who's miscarried, and things to say or not say to that person. I know people are just trying to help when they spurt things out sometimes, but it isn't always helpful in the healing process. So far, with this miscarriage, I haven't had anyone say any boneheaded things to me. With my first miscarriage however, I had lots of hurtful things said to me, like: "It just wasn't meant to be." That is NOT something you want to hear right after a loss.

Emotionally we are doing pretty good this time around. The second I started spotting, I started to prepare myself for a possible miscarriage, so I had many good cry's before the miscarriage even happened. By the time we actually had the miscarriage, I had come to terms with the inevitable and was able to accept it and have peace about it when it did happen. The Lord was very good to me in preparing me ahead of time for this! I feel very blessed!

Anyways, I will keep you up to date on my follow up appointment if anything turns out to be abnormal! :)

This will make you smile!

Here's some adorible videos of Jadon laughing! Derek always finds things to do that make Jadon just laugh hysterically, and I always try to get it on video (of course! I love his little smile with all his big teeth and his innocent laughter!) For this particular incident, Derek was rolling Jadon's plastic toy rings down the slide and saying "Bonk!" when the rings would roll into the couch. For some reason, Derek saying "Bonk!" just really gave Jadon the giggles.

Thank You

I wanted to thank all our friends and family who have been praying for us these last few days. It has really helped!

I had the miscarriage this morning.... actually about an hour or so ago. I have had very little pain, surprisingly, since my last miscarriage I was in excruiciating pain.

If you have a weak stomach you may not want to read the rest of the story.....

So when it happened, I went to the bathroom, wiped, and there was a clear blob on the TP. I picked it up with a clean piece of TP to examine it (yes, discusting I know, but I knew what was happening, and I wanted a chance to see my baby). It turns out it was the baby in its protective little sack. Its about the size of a piece of rice.... you can see the spine all the way down, it still has a little tail. You can see little tiny bumps where the arm buds were, and a big red area that was the heart. It is pretty incredibly amazing! Horribly sad and heartbreaking, but absolutely amazing and beautiful too. I imagine we will bury it somewhere in our yard. I don't want to throw it away or flush it down the toilet because afterall, it still is our baby whether it is 5 gestational weeks old or 15 years old.

Here is almost an exact picture of what the baby looks like:

Still Waiting for "It" to Happen....

I woke up today feeling sorry for myself and also feeling very angry. We didn't have anything planned today and I just felt like staying home and sulking anyways, so we did pretty much nothing today. When Jadon went down for a nap, I grabbed a book and laid on the couch and read the whole time. I had a few cramps this afternoon, but nothing like whats to come. I'm hoping the miscarriage will happen this weekend while Derek is home with me, and that way he can be here to take care of me and Jadon, but mostly so I don't have to wait any longer for it to happen. The worst part is knowing there is a living little being in me, with a heartbeat and everything, and knowing that it doesn't have a chance at life.

On top of that, I gained 5 lbs within the first 2 weeks of this pregnancy, and with the way i've eaten the last couple of days, i'm sure i've gained another 5 lbs. I'm such an emotional eater, its not even funny! Whats worse is that I don't even really care.... I figure i'll "care" a little more after this ordeal is done and over, and i've had a chance to grieve, accept and move on.

Anyways, thats how most of the day went. This evening we did a few fireworks with Jadon. We bought a few little ones that didn't make too much noise. Unfortunately the neighbors had some illegal fireworks and were setting them off starting before 8pm until about 10:30pm... they were very loud and really scared Jadon. He didn't go to sleep until shortly after they stopped. Poor guy was horribly tired!

We did manage to snap a few pictures, so here they are:

Annoucement

Derek and I thought we should announce that we are pregnant. This was not planned... we had planned to wait until August to start trying for #2. We were going to wait to announce it until closer to the second trimester after the risk of miscarriage dropped.

Before you get excited though, let me finish. We are supposed to be 7 weeks 3 days pregnant today. Last week I started having some spotting.... for the first couple days it was just on and off, hardly anything at all. I was even questioning whether or not to be worried about such a small amount. When it didnt go away and got a little worse, I started to have doubts that the pregnacy was going to continue. By Sunday night I had fully convinced myself that I was going to miscarry again. I even started researching what the next step would be to get the miscarriage to progress.

Monday I called the doctor, got an appointment for Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning I went in, Derek got away from work for a little bit to come with me. My cervix was closed, and the doctor found a little beating heart! (Both very good signs!) I cried because I was not expecting to hear that there was a heartbeat. The baby was measuring a week and a half smaller than what it should have been though, so they sent me for blood work, and then again today for more blood work to check my hormone levels. In early pregnancy, hormone levels are supposed to double every 2 days.

This evening right after dinner, my doctor called me to inform me that my hormone levels dropped and that it was inevitable that I was going to miscarry again. Now I just have to wait until next week to go in to see the doctor again to talk about medication to help the miscarriage progress a little quicker. (Unless it happens sooner on its own) It can take several weeks for your body to realize the baby isnt growing anymore and miscarry on its own. I feel that would be emotional anguish and am going to opt for meds to help it along.

No, there is nothing wrong with me that I would have another miscarriage. My body has proven that before by conceiving, carrying and birthing Jadon. We are just unlucky. Once a heartbeat is established, the risk of miscarriage drops to less than 5%.... unfortunately this time, we are in that less than 5%. Maybe after a 3rd miscarriage we would start to think about doing some testing to see if there is something else going on.

I am trusting God with this.... He made something beautiful from my last miscarriage-(Jadon)- and there's no doubt in my mind that He will make something beautiful out of this one too.
I dont know if we'll stick to our original plan and try in August still.... probably not. I want to have a full cycle or two before trying again. However, none of my pregnancies have been planned so far, so the next one probably wont be either! The good news is, we have no problem getting pregnant easily.

I'd be lying if I said that this wasn't upsetting to me, or that I haven't questioned over and over why this is happening to me again. I know God has a purpose and a plan for my life, and because of that, I am at peace with this.

Anyways, I hope you will keep us in your prayers for a quick recovery- both physically and emotionally. I'm sorry to have to announce it like this.... Derek and I couldnt wait to share it with everyone a little farther down the road. It just didnt seem right to not tell our family and friends at all, even though we are losing the baby.

Hope you all have a very fun and safe 4th of July! Take care!