Two days ago, was a very bitter sweet day, for a sweet little baby was born sleeping into the arms of Jesus. Natalee, a good friend of mine from high school, was overdue with her 5th baby, a boy- Sawyer Jude.
On the morning of the 24th, she went in to get checked because the baby was not moving, and that is when they found that he no longer had a heartbeat.
She posted this on her facebook yesterday:
Sawyer Jude, 8 lbs 6.4 oz, 21" long and absolutely beautiful and perfect. He was born, sleeping peacefully at 1:18 A.M. May 25, 2012 ♥ It was the date that, for weeks now I'd hoped he would come into this world on... I loved the sound of 5/25 and how easy it would be to remember when asked all five of our kids' birth dates ♥ It will now be the second hardest date to remember....today's ...will be the first...as we have to give him all the kisses of a lifetime, all the hugs and try to memorize his every feature....all the things we wanted to a whole lifetime to do before we have to give him someone else and leave without our sweet baby boy. I can hardly breathe or see for crying. i want to take him home....I know he's at home with Jesus, but I wanted him longer with me, we all did. I know he's the lucky one, and I'm so thankful for the hope we have in Christ. We are, Jesse and I and the kids having to do something we never imagined.....please continue to cover us in prayer and encourage (we are reading all of it) us as we also begin to plan sweet Sawyer's memorial service ♥ I want to be overtaken with the peace only my heavenly father can give....I'm running to Him. I'm thankful for and so in LOVE with my son and our lives have been forever blessed, forever changed having him dancing in my belly these last 41 weeks ♥
Please, if you will, pray for this family. I cant even begin to imagine going through this. I had early miscarriages, and that was hard, but to carry a perfectly healthy baby for 41 weeks and then suddenly he dies when he should have been born.... to leave the hospital with empty arms, and empty dreams, and then to have to plan a memorial instead. To have to go home, and face the questions of curious people, deal with the comments of well-meaning people who just say the wrong things unknowingly, to have to walk into your house thats now set up and ready for a newborn. All the little painful reminders that you were indeed supposed to bring home your baby to love and care for.
Its so hard to understand why these things happen. I know God had a bigger plan, and through this He will make something beautiful. And as Natalee said in her post above, Sawyer is the lucky one to be in Heaven with Jesus. Im so glad they have such a strong faith.
I have read many blogs that I found through a miscarriage and infant loss website after I had my miscarriages. I noticed the same two trends. The blogs from women who were not believers were very bitter. Cold. Angry. Depressed. And some of these blogs were written years and years after their child passed, and they were still feeling these emotions. While the blogs from women who were believers and had faith were still sad, but there was hope in what they wrote. They knew their babies were in the arms of the Father, and that someday they will get to see them again. They know God has a purpose and a plan for everything. They were not bitter. Obviously yes they were sad.... you'd have to be emotionally dead to not feel sad from losing your child, but it was a hopeful sadness.
His plan for little Sawyer was just as it was; to never take a breath of the outside world. His little life has touched so many people already.
1 comment:
Oh Chris told me about this. It makes me sick to my stomach and overcome with saddness for them. I cannot imagine what she's possibly going through..what her family is going through. We'll be praying for them.
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